With the final swing before the presidential nomination upon us, there are constant battles of this versus that, left versus right. In honor of all the debates we've played drinking games to thus far, I decided to interview a five-year-old about all our favorite controversial topics, and here's how it went.

*Most of his answers were one word, so I asked "why".

Hi Dameon, how are you today?

"Hi Vaughnie. I'm good."

Can I ask you some questions?

"Yeah. Can I type?"

No. Maybe after the questions.

"Can I type on a clean page?"

Yes, but I have to ask the questions.

"Okay."

Do you know who the presidential candidates are?

"Yes. They are the people running for president."

Who do you think is going to win?

"Um. I don't know. Probably Billy George."

(I don't know a Billy George, but I suggest he gets his act together so he can win.)

Do you think college should be free?

"Yeah, because so everyone who goes into adulthood can go."

Do you think gun laws should be more strict?

"Yeah, because I can grab a real gun and shoot. And when I'm older I'm going to do that and I'm going to shoot all the Britishes."

(We had just come from a war reenactment where his father "fights" for the French. )

Do you think the drinking age should be lower?

"No."

Do you think the driving age should be lower?

"Yeah. I think I should drive because I'm going to college right now."

(Pre-K is basically college.)

Do you think we should be drinking cow's milk?

"Yeah, because it's good for us."

Do you think boys can marry boys and girls can marry girls?

"No...Yeah, because they love each other."

Do you think girls should have to pay more for pink things?

"Yeah. Because they just do."

Can boys and girls use the same bathroom?

"NOoOOooOoOOOOOoooOoOoooo."

(He later took a bath with his sister, so I don't think he understood the question."

Should girls be allowed to fight in wars and stuff?

"Yeah, because... so they can get a job."

Do you think boys and girls should get paid the same?

"Yeah... because, just yeah."

Should minimum wage be higher?

"Yeah, because... so we can get children."

Thanks for talking to me today, Dameon.

"Can I type now?"

And there ya have it, people. The answers to all your controversial topics as brought to you via a five-year-old. Ah, if only things were as simple as they were back in the day.

*sips on juice box.*

#BillyGeorge2K16