I'm An Asian American And I Will Never Fit Your Stereotypes | The Odyssey Online
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I'm An Asian American And I Will Never Fit Your Stereotypes

I am not a plate of fine china. I am not fragile. You cannot break me.

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I'm An Asian American And I Will Never Fit Your Stereotypes
Lani Defiesta

Growing up in a primarily white neighborhood, I was always seen as different. People saw me as the quiet Asian girl in class who was good at math and kept to herself.

However, that stereotype wasn’t the reason why I was out of the ordinary.

Rather, I was different because I didn’t fit in that frame society set me in. I was outgoing and talkative, I was involved in school, I had a ton of friends, and to be quite honest, I was terrible at math. Even though I wasn’t quite the image of the “typical” Asian student, people still pushed me back into a box. People still asked me for math help (which I couldn’t help them with because, like I said before, I really was terrible at math); people were surprised when I got involved with student government and cheerleading; and people still asked me, “what kind of Asian are you?” and if I knew how to use chopsticks.

Being of Asian ethnicity, of course I am familiar with the different kinds of Asian food out there, but if you ask me what is in the Chinese food you’re eating, I only know because I watch a lot of Food Network shows, not because I grew up eating that in my house. If you ask me if I know how to use chopsticks, I do, but it’s because I taught myself and not because it is a part of my culture.

Being Asian, you often are lumped together into one giant stereotype.

Society basically shoves every Asian ethnicity into an egg roll and consumes them. You’re the nerd in class that knows how to answer all of the problems. You can’t speak English well. You can’t drive well. You eat dog at home with your strict parents. The list goes on and on.

These stereotypes don’t represent the people we are, and most of the time they are wrong as well. I’m smart, but I’m definitely not the smartest in the classroom. I speak English just fine and am comfortable with public speaking. I drive fairly well, and I would never eat a dog, but yes, I eat dinner with my very strict Asian parents (OK, they fit that stereotype, but there’s nothing wrong with that).

However, no matter how hard we try, society still puts us into this frame. When I was little, all my friends had characters on TV they looked up to. But the only movies that even had Asian characters often had them as the joke sidekick or as women who fell in love with the strong white male character but then thrown away at the very end (I’m talking about you, “Memoirs of a Geisha” and “Miss Saigon.”)

Society was telling me that I would never be more than a secondary character. That I was nothing more than a pretty exotic novelty that could be easily forgotten.

What else can I be besides what the media portrayed me to be? Submissive, passive, obedient, someone that could easily be taken advantage of.

So there I was, staring into a mirror, having a Mulan-esque moment, wondering “Who is that girl I see?” I did not know what kind of person I should be when everyone around me was pushing me into this box that I knew I didn’t fit in. It took me a while to figure out that I didn’t need to fit into this box.

Rather, I should fight back and get out of it.

I’m sorry I don’t fit into your stereotype. I am not the timid weak girl that you think I am. There were countless times during late nights where boys would tell me that they only liked me for the exotic look of my body and how they want to “try it with an Asian girl.” So to all of those boys, let me just tell you that I am not some kind of exotic flavor of the week. I don’t hide behind a fan and giggle at all of your jokes. I am not the cute schoolgirl in a sailor uniform in the animes you watch. I am not some kind of fetish you can watch behind computer screens.

I am not a plate of fine China. I am not fragile. You cannot break me.

There is a quote by a famous Filipino author, Carlos Bulosan, in his book “America is in the Heart” that says,

Our faith has been shaken so many times, and now it's put into question. Our faith is a living thing, and it can be crippled or chained by blasting away our personalities and keeping us in constant fear. Unless we are properly prepared, the powers of darkness will have good reason to catch us unaware and trample our lives."
Do not let the powers of darkness take over who you are. Being a first-generation American citizen, I’ve heard the stories of my parents in the Philippines, and they aren’t weak either. They came to a country with absolutely nothing and were able to make a living off of just that. As a minority, we are strong, and we have to be that strong in order to prevent us from assimilating into the culture you think is best for us. Our validity and strength are often put into question by the very society that was built out of the railroads and farms that our people worked in.


We are powerful. You cannot put us into the darkness, because like the rising sun from the East, you cannot contain us.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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