Last week I came across this article on how opposites certainly did attract in this woman's marriage. Her relationship with God helps her and her husband overcome their differences. It hit home like Ali's anchor punch. I love and deeply respect my fiance. He is wise, caring, and hard working. He's also radically different than me (not as if I'm some standard to be measured against). He's an extrovert who occasionally enjoys time alone. I'm an introvert who always enjoys time alone (always). He was homeschooled, starting community college at age 16. I was public schooled through and through. He's very conservative politically. I'm a more liberal breed of conservative (terrifying I know). He's hilarious, even downright silly sometimes, always making me laugh. My humor is drier than the Sahara. He can go with the flow. I need a 12 day advance notice for any change in plans.
We're radically different, some might even say mismatched. To make matters even "worse", our engagement has not been a fairytale. The starry-eyed disillusion of thinking we were made for each other wore off a long time ago. We drive each other insane and can aggravate one another to no end. And yet, I've never been more in love. It's far too easy to get caught up in the differences and begin to think we simply aren't right for each other. There's just no way this is possible, right? I mean, God can't work in lives that are so different. He's not big enough for that. (There's that lovely sense of humor again.)
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Please don't interpret that as sacrilegious, though let me make my point clear. Of course we're not perfect for each other! When we passively allow sin into our lives we hurt people, particularly those we're closest to. It's not a fairytale, but it can be sanctifying. Our differences are far from the main issue. Sure, they can make things more complicated, but that's just more opportunities for applying those good communication skills. The real issue, as always, is God. He is the eternal point of everything.
When I take a step back from "how does this help me" and look at the ways God is shaping me through my relationship with my fiance and get a far better and more accurate perspective. Because of our differences I'm constantly pushed out of my comfort zone. He challenges me to speak wisdom boldly and assertively. He helps me learn to appreciate silly and laugh at myself (it really does a soul good). I delve into God's word with renewed earnestness when I see it changing our attitudes. We're friends and partners who point each other back to the Cross saying "I know I don't truly love you like Jesus does, but I'm committed to spending the rest of my life working towards becoming more like Him." I am a far better person, much more solidified in my Christ foundation since meeting my man. God has sacrificed for and forgiven me more than I can truly imagine. The least I can do is extend that towards my fiance.
We're precious works in progress-- bits of clay being shaped towards glory. I see glimmers of that glory in my man when he teaches God's word, when he humbly admits a wrong, when he confidently proclaims God's faithfulness and leads us towards remembrance of it. I cannot wait until the day when I stand before the throne and see God reward him for the faithful servant he is. It's with the aim of serving as Jesus would, that I enter into my marriage with no false perceptions of perfection or soul mates, but with the dedication to grow into the woman God is creating me to be, alongside my very best friend. When iron sharpens iron there are bound to be sparks; the shaping is uncomfortable and a lengthy process, but it creates something beautiful.
