I started running by the time I was in elementary school. I always loved the 40m dash races on field days and staying after school for running club. I played sports and spent almost every day outside playing with the neighborhood kids. My mom and I started running together and that really played a role in why running has become something I enjoy so much. We would talk while running, and looking back, my mom really became more of a friend figure, someone I could trust with anything than a parental figure. Of course, she could bring the hammer down if I did something wrong, but most of the time, she is my very best friend.
My sister also starting running with me in high school. By this point, it had become a tradition for me to run half marathons and Thanksgiving races with both my mom and my stepmom Lisa. I just enjoyed the atmosphere of everyone supporting fellow runners and talking about important things going on in their lives. You learn a lot about a person in the time it takes to run 13 miles with them. My sister and I rode together to track practices in high school and it was such a moment of pure bonding. She would talk to me about the things going on in her life, and before this moment in time, we only ever fought. My friends did track and cross country with me too. In the past, running has just been surrounded by pure joy and love beyond compare.
I had a major setback coming into college. Without organized sports, I put running to the wayside for a little bit. I seemed to hit a social, and eventual academic wall the entirety of my freshman year up until the second semester of my sophomore year. Everything was slowly falling apart. I was struggling to make friends and keep friends. I was struggling to stay motivated to study and get my work done. All in all, I was simply in a rut. I think a big part of that had to do with giving up running. I had associated running, and I still do with happiness. While it isn't the only form of happiness, it is a major way to take some weight off my chest.
I picked it back up again, and I can honestly say that running makes me a better person. When I am sad, I run (sometimes while crying). When I am angry, I run (to keep myself from wanting to punch people). When I am not confident, I run (to remind myself of how strong I am). In the past couple of months, it seems the world hasn't been in my favor. But I've managed to make it through with shining colors in due part to how much I have run. I ran 55 miles in the month of February when things began to really unravel, and I've run 65 miles this month to hold onto my sanity.
The moral of the story is that running is a part of me. I can't not run. It is something I want to keep doing because it truly makes me feel more myself, more confident, and more capable.