I am an artist, but as of late, I haven't really felt like one.
Unfortunately, I’ve been neglecting this part of myself. School, assignments, work, my social life, and my general lack of artistic inspiration have all distracted me from recognizing how key creating is to my mental and emotional health and my personal identity. Drawing and painting have always been outlets of expression for me, and these activities have been especially helpful during times of stress or loneliness.
I was recently cleaning and reorganizing my room, and I stumbled back upon a pile of prints, drawings, and photocopies of inspirational artworks that I made during the winter quarter of my Freshman year, two years ago. As I gently flipped through the thick, soft papers and saw the rich ink soaked into the fibers, I remembered all of the time and effort I had put into my artwork.
While I was filled with a sense of wonder and satisfaction at how beautiful it all was, I also felt a twinge of sadness.
Looking at the dates scrawled in pencil on the back of my prints, I couldn’t believe that it really had been two years since I made anything I was truly pleased with and that I felt best conveyed my emotions and thoughts and showcased my talents.
I decided that it was time for me to get back in touch with my more imaginative side, so I knew that an open letter would serve as both a reminder and a source of motivation whenever I feel myself slipping away in the future.
To The Creative Side That I've Been Neglecting,
I wanted to firstly apologize to you for letting you fade in the chaos of life, but also to promise that I truly am going to search for you, to start drawing, and maybe even painting or printmaking, once again.
I know that things have been busy and that you and the other parts of me had a lot to handle, especially in the past several months, so I’m proud of us—you and everything else that makes me who I am—for being able to pull through and grow as a person.
However, I also want us to be aware that when life does feel overwhelming, we need to take a breather; I often neglect to do this, and it becomes really detrimental, especially to you. Not having an activity to engage in that you specifically find such joy in leads to boredom, isolation, and further demotivation. You put such emphasis on visual self-expression, so what better way to do this than to once again pick up your sketchbook, pencils, and markers?
I know that lately, you’ve been thinking more and more about getting back to your artistic roots, so please, actually take the time to.
You used to doodle and draw all throughout your childhood, and you were always at your happiest when you were taking some kind of art class, engaging with other artists, or watching and reading tutorials… What happened?
I miss that aspect of myself. I miss you.
You were the identity that, while sometimes I was tentative or doubtful to claim, I truly felt comfortable with, genuinely excited by, and deeply proud of. I want you back, and I want to do everything in my power to encourage and embrace you once again. Let yourself share your artwork once more, let yourself be complimented, and let yourself focus time and energy each week on doing what you so love.
I look forward to seeing where you lead me in the future.
All my (self)love,
The other facets of myself that miss you
