S: Let’s start off with what is your name?

Z: Zara, I like to go by Zarabeth though, I don’t know why, it’s just kind of one of those things where I try to make myself seem cooler than I am, so that’s that.

S: Where are you from?

Z: I was born here, and lived here until I was four years old and moved to Bucks County, Pennsylvania right outside of Philadelphia, and I grew up there and moved back to Jacksonville when I was seventeen…I went to two different High Schools, I went to Central Bucks East in Pennsylvania and when I moved down here I went to Atlantic Coast and graduated in 2014.

S: Ayeee, Class of 2014!

Z: Where did you go to school?

S: I went to Douglas Anderson.

Z: My mom wanted me to audition for them for viola, because I played viola for five years; awful! Not a musical bone in my body but I played for five years so, I just ended up not doing it because I knew I wasn’t good enough to get in to DA, but I’ve heard great things about that school.

S: Did you not want to audition for your photography?

Z: I didn’t really get into photography until…like I didn’t really pick up a camera until I was seventeen, actually sixteen because I was in my junior year. But I didn’t really start getting serious about it until my senior year of high school. At that point I’d have like a year left of school so it would kind of be pointless. But after the fact I wish I would have gone more my photography, a lot of my friends got into DA for photography or went there and then got into photography so yeah.

S: How did you come across photography?

Z: My mom actually had this…it wasn’t really old but it was an Olympus automatic film cameras like one of those really bulky ugly ones and pretty much all you had to do was just do the automatic settings, hit flash and it was 35mm. I started taking pictures of my friends…My friend’s house in Pennsylvania had a Volkswagen graveyard, and that just had a bunch of beat down Volkswagens and I thought they were the most beautiful things so I took pictures there and got them developed about a year and a half later and I love the look of it so for my 18th birthday I asked for money to buy a DSLR so I bought a Canon Rebel T3i and I still have the body just different lenses now, and from there just kind of fell in love with it I never expected myself to love photography but…it just kind of happened.

S: So you started off with film? That’s a rarity.

Z: I mean I don’t really consider…I just started picking up actual film going completely manual…Some Japanese film camera I found in a thrift store and I was pleasantly surprised. I looked up the price of it and how much it retails for on eBay and stuff and it was 80$ and I got it for like 25-30$ so I was like okay fair enough. We recently went to Asheville, North Carolina and shot pretty much exclusively film there, I don’t know if it came out good or not yet but.

S: Have yet to be developed?

Z: I’m kind of scared to get it developed, because you know that first play with film is…

S: It’s a risk.

Z: Right it really test you as a photographer if you actually know what you’re doing.

S: So you still do primarily do film.

Z: More so digital but I’ve shot about five rolls of film

S:Would you say that you alternate between the two most of the time do you use one more than the other?

Z: Just because I haven't replenished any of the film I’d definitely say I’m more into digital, but since I've shot with film I've kind of been hesitant to pick up my digital again because I’d kind of like to get into more into self developing and I know how to develop and I know...what I mean by that is I watched a video on it once and now I consider myself a pro, so I plan on buying the equipment and making my own darkroom we're going to remove to Riverside in July so we're going to get a dark room then play along with it so we'll see how it goes but yeah it's still generally mostly digital. I think a lot of people would hate me for saying I prefer digital unlike “true” photographers or whatever but I think with that you can manipulate a whole lot more.

S:You feel like it allows a lot more freedom?

Z: I don't know I feel like my photography it's kind of dark and more macabre if anything and I shoot primarily...I would say like fine nudity and all that so I feel with digital I can go through and pick different highlights and different colorations because...I just think I don't have that same freedom with film.

S:I was just going To say just looking through your photos you do have a very dark sort of ethereal feel your photos.

Z: Thank you! I love that thank you I love that

S:And it's really nice and it's really impressive and at least on the surface It's seemingly...it looks like it takes a lot of work to put together even just one shot

Z: Which is funny that you say that because I've always been the type of Photographer to completely Wing everythingI've always honestly Envy those that have like a set plan and they find something in their mind and we're going to do this this and this and we're going to go for it because I'm always sort of had a slight idea of what I wanted andI’ve shot her [Sara] a few times actually I think 2 pictures got into a gallery which I was very impressed with myself. But I don't know like I kind of like the picture of her I through paint on her face it was vibrant red paint and afterwards I made it black and white and after I looked at it and really sat in it and looked at it I just kind of found the meaning afterwards so I've never gone into anything with a set purpose in mind that's always been the afterthought

S: So you're really heavily on improvisation?

Z: Yeah absolutely I actually find it really ironic that--like I paint very little here and there but my brother has walked into my room a few times and been like...I realized that there's a correlation between all your work, with my paintings there's almost...there’s either missing eyes or missing mouths and I know what you always find the meeting afterwards so--it's kind of depressing to look at my art afterwards and think oh well that's how I was feeling I mean I've had depression for as long as I can remember so I feel like photography has always been an outlet for me because I kind of emotionally stunt myself so after I shoot something I go back and look at it and think so this is how I was feeling, interesting.

S: Do you think that's a common factor among most artists & photographers? The of being able to accurately express yourself through it?

Z: I don't know about accurately but I know I've known quite a few painters that have multiple personalities or schizophrenia and they just kind of--it just depends on which emotion they're portraying verses I don't know that it’s a lack of accuracy, more so more of a coping mechanism if that makes any sense.

S:It does, I was asking more along the lines of where to draw the line between making something that's true to yourself and what you're feeling and making it consumable to an audience.

Z: I actually have this conversation with of one of my good friends all the time he was in a band for a while and--I always try to separate myself from artists that I see online with like huge follower counts and they get paid for their art and they're making tons of money and--because I have like 3 different exhibitions and I sold nothing, and I've had people interested in my prints and I just can't sell anything and I think what he was saying to me is at a certain point you have to break down what you want to do and kind of, what's the word...conform to what other people are willing to buy from your artwork and I feel if I'm going to be emotionally honest with myself and my artwork and produce something that I'm really comfortable with and I love and I'm getting something out of I can never do that. I would love to sell my art but I don't think I'll ever be that kind of person that's going to shoot anything that's not raw I guess. I feel like a lot of my art is kind of hard to look at depending on if you really look at it because I did one shoot with my roommate where she's in a bunny mask and it was really afterwords about miscarriages and and I guess--not emotional but physical abuse and rape of women and there was like blood coming from the vagina and what not, and I guess-- I don't know that I was the kind of art that I want to make I want to make art that people are comfortable looking good I wanted to strike something and I would like them I guess the find it beautiful afterwards but kind of hint t hey there's something special about this, you know? I'm sure I could get into wedding photography and make a ton of money but it’s just not really anything that I'm looking at, if I have to do retail jobs to the day I die just make the art I like I'll do it it's just kind of hard.

S: And most artists do face that difficulty of, I want to be known I want my work to be shown to the widest audience possible, but the widest audience possible obviously not like what I have to say.

Z: Oh yeah it's especially from what I make and a few other of my friends, I kind of have a similar subject matte,r it's very niche community they're going to buy the artwork and that's something that you really specifically have to promote and be good at promoting yourself online and different art communities and even places like Artwalk, I’ve had a few things in Artwork and still haven't sold. That's not the place for my work, I think you have to be very conscious of what and how you're going to sell it.

S: Going back to what you said about separating yourself from online photographers who have very high follower counts and are very well known among other photographers from here to like--California and obviously get paid for what they do. Do you feel like they're necessarily less honest

Z: Not necessarily I mean I have--he’s not a photographer but one of my favorite artist is Don Kenn and he's got huge amount of followers, thousands of followers and he does very sketchy almost like 18th century little horror pieces, they're really morbid and very 2D but I mean I feel like that's kind of honest to who he is I don't feel like his artwork is trying to portray anything other than what he wants I feel like he's one of those that really lucked out and finding a lot of people that are interested in his art work and I feel like that's a lot harder to do. Then again his stuff isn’t really aggressive, it’s not really bloody or anything it’s more of like--Shel Silverstein mixed with Tim Burton kind of. So I feel like he’s right there in that borderline. For the most part--I don’t know, I don’t want to--I’m trying to be a lot more supportive of artists, because it’s such a cut-throat piece of life and..

S: A very cut-throat industry really.

Z: Yeah and I don’t to negatively say you’re stuff is wrong because maybe it is to you maybe you’re trying something like focus on the lighter things but mine just happens to be more negative and sad, so maybe it is less raw to me but maybe it’s not to them you know.

S: So ultimately it’s subjective, even if one thing just so happens to be more popular than the other.

Z: Yeah absolutely, I try to say so at least. I’m trying to let positive energy in my life recently and it’s been kind of going okay for me.

S: Talk about some of the galleries you’ve been in.

Z: So the first thing I ever had was...Scholastic in high school, it was great! Yep I think that's the first point for someone that's transitioning into doing it not just for school, like I’m assuming you took photography classes and whatnot but--I don't know I just kind of took a random photo of one of my friends in the hallway at school and I think that's when I first fell in love with black & white photography because I always love photojournalism the very up close and clarified images where freckles are showing.

S: That's what I was also gonna ask, you are very much a black and white photographer

Z: Yeah, anytime I see something slightly colored--I like it but I always have to shoot it like that and black & white.

S: Any particular reason or is that just..just because it appeals to you more? Or do you think there’s a deeper reason?

Z: I have never actually sat down and thought about it, but I think it definitely appeals to me but--I think black & white is kind of under-rated and underestimated, because it’s really easy just to throw a b&w filter on a photo then to really have to..

S: Pay attention to lighting.

Z: Yeah and highlights is something I like to play with, I like more shadow work in my pieces and I like high contrast and--I don’t know I just feel like it work better for what I want to do. There’s very few pictures that i find do better for me in color, or if I do do color I try to make it more muted and do a soft offset versus super vibrant and what not.

S: Back to the exhibitions. We started off with scholastic...

Z:Yeah I think i was the only one in Atlantic Coast to get in for Photography so I was pretty excited. The same year got two pieces in the FSCJ art gallery. The a moved to Tallahassee for a year and it was a picture of her[Sara] actually, the one with the black & white paint one, that was submitted in a city wide competition and it was hung up in the Tallahassee regional airport, and it was a panel of judges had to go through and select who they wanted, I think there was 30-50 artists and I think it was 20 pieces that got in, so it was really small and I had a piece there and I was so excited that was my first year of college. I kind of stopped trying after that because I was going through a really rough time in Tallahassee and this year actually my mom's friend owns a gallery of Monroe Street, Monroe Gallery and I have a wall of [Sara] and my other friend. November is the last month it’ll be up there but it’s been up there for about four months now. We haven't sold anything but it’s really cool to experience it, because I’m the first photographer they ever had and I’ll be the last because they’re shutting it down unfortunately. It’s cool, it’s a bunch of painters and beautiful work and I was very different than what was up there so I was really honored to be allowed to have some pieces up there, I believe eight. I just submitted 5 images to this international contest for nudity and really nervous about that,won't here about it until December, so I’m very nervous if I win I’ll get a monetary thing and I think they’ll take it to some photography exhibition in I think California. But I won’t find out until last month so yeah, that's the last thing I did.

S: Speaking of nude photography, me and Nicole had a very interesting discussion about nude photography and where to draw the line between tasteful nudes and what would be labeled as, not necessarily pornography but nude photography that specifically caters to the male gaze.

Z: Me and [Sara] have talked about that a ton of times. There are a few local photographers who I’ve never met--I guess it’s very Tumblr or Instagram photography, I’m sure you know what I’m talking about, the women in their underwear pressed against--yeah and.

S: I may actually know these photographers who you’re talking about.

Z: You probably do. Again I’m not trying to be an asshole or anything but I have a hard time considering that real photography like you could have a fancy camera you can have the greatest equipment and lighting in the world and sure, you could even have talent but the moment you just throw a half naked girl against a wall--and it’s the same replayed image or subject over and over again and I just don’t really respect that. Especially because I’ve heard a few things come out about said photographers that they’ve been less than professional towards their models.

S:Which isn’t surprising..

Z:Yeah like you really have to consider the subject matter too and it just kind of hurts my heart to say that but--it's not real art to me. I don’t want to be that person but...

S:I mean, tell it like it is.

Z: Yeah it’s just, and another thing is I think it give a really bad name to male photographers, like there’s a few really great ones that I know around here and it’s harder for them to book models because

S: There’s the trust factor

Z: Yeah I mean you have people locally who are gonna ruin females trusts that are willing to bare their bodies and themselves to you to have them capture that like you really need to have trust and...it’s just wrong I’m not very eloquent with my words but

S: Sometimes you just have to call a spade a spade

Z: It’s definitely been hard for me even as a female to grab people who are willing to do more--as I said it’s a niche subject matter that I like so obviously it’s gonna be harder for me to grab people and throw fake blood on them in the middle of the public.

S: I was just going to ask, because I know that the one limitation I find with photography, which I find to be common amongst most photographers is that because you’re capturing real life--for instance, one of the freedoms with painting is that you kind paint and draw anything no one has to really be involved except for you whereas with photography the image that you’re trying to portray, you need actual object and actual people to get involved for it, so how would you say you straightforwardly tell someone I want to shoot you nude or I want to put fake blood on you, or I want you to wear this mask or I want you to get in this really weird position, but trust me?

Z: I think I’ve been really fortunate to have found friends that are willing to bare themselves to me because--I would never ask someone to do what I myself was not comfortable doing, especially as a female and then again I’d do anything for my artwork and there’s a couple of things I’ve wanted to do that I would never ask anyone to do so I just got in front of the camera and did a self timer and did it. Like my roommate--I think it’s all just a matter of common interest because she’s into a lot of the more morbid and ethereal look that I do and i think once you start out with that common ground and say hey, this is the kind of art that i want to make I would really like for you to be apart of it then you have to really find what they’re comfortable doing and make sure you’re not betraying any trusts and you have to really be good at, just jot at my type of photography but any photography--reading body language and knowing when you’re taking it too far even if they’re saying it’s okay, and once I’ve taken pictures of my roommate River,other people have seen it and came to me and asked if I was willing to use them for my work, also facebook is a really good ground to just be like hey this is what I want to do if anyone is comfortable please come out to me, and I’ve actually met a handful of friends that way this year, starting off just working together and gone from there. So It’s just a matter of interest and being honest and open about it and if they like what you do I think they’re more than happy to help out, so that's probably how.