Being single is no easy task. It is probably harder than being in a relationship. You have to deal with the sympathetic stares from lovey-dovey couples; the constant questions from family members asking if you met anyone yet, the struggle of finding a date that isn’t a creep, and the sad reality of sometimes feeling lonely or unloved.
However, after 19 (almost 20) years of being single (cue gasps because how could fabulous me never have had a boyfriend?) I have mastered the art of it. The key part of being single is to own it. And boys, pay attention as well, you can own being single too. And I don’t just mean embracing being single, I mean working it, loving it, showing off your singleness to the world, and making those lovey-dovey couples envy you.
This means going to date parties by yourself, taking cute photos of just you and showing them off on Instagram. This means telling your family members you haven’t met a significant other because you aren't looking for a significant other. This means that when someone tries to give you pity when you didn’t bring a date to date party by saying, “You go girl! You don’t need a man” you respond with, “I know I don’t need a man! I didn’t bring one, not cause I couldn’t find one, cause I didn’t want one” and then swaggering off to own the dance floor.
At this point, you probably think I am joking and you probably are laughing (or breathing out of your nose a littler harder than usual while laying in bed), but I am being serious. Nobody should tease you for being single and you should not let being single dictate your life.
For the longest time, I thought something was wrong with me because I hadn’t been in a relationship and some of my friends have been in one since they were thirteen (including my younger brother). I used to look at myself in the mirror and wonder what guys didn’t see in me. Was I too ugly? Too fat? I wondered if my personality was whack. Was I too loud? Too obnoxious? Too opinionated? And I started to guess who I was as a person physically, mentally, and emotionally. I let myself think that having a man justified if I was a good enough person or not. I let not having a guy define my life. But sometime in the last couple of years, I got over my issues and made being single a choice, not an alternative to being in a relationship. Being single wasn’t being in last place anymore, it was being in first place for myself.
And of course, I’m not crazy; I would love to find someone, someday. But for the time being, I am not going to let being single hold me back. I am going to own being single and when the time comes to being in a relationship, I’ll own that too because let’s face it, I am awesome! If you only get one thing from this article, it’s to always love yourself and never be ashamed to be single.
Now go work it!
