I remember my first time driving alone. I got five minutes down the road when I started to feel hazy, unfocused and panicked. The silence around me crushed me, reminding me over and over again that I was alone. If I died, I would die alone. It wasn't the fact that I could die that scared me; it was the fact that, for the first time in a long time, I was by myself.
This loneliness scared me, and I think it scares many people today. In such a social generation, with social media, social engagements and social expectations, we've lost the art of being alone. Whenever we find ourselves alone we panic and pull over in order to turn our music a little louder.
What if, however, there is an art to being alone that we have yet to discover? What if a party of one can rival any party of one hundred? I believe that alone time is a vital part of everyone's life, and that when given the right attention can transform our lives.
Where do you start?
First, be intentional. For introverted people, finding time to be alone is an every day occurrence, but for extroverted people like me, we have to plan time in our schedules to be alone. Prioritize alone time. It might feel selfish, but spending time by yourself will not only refresh your mental and emotional health, as Huffindton Post wrote about, but it will actually increase your enjoyment during social interaction, as Psychology Today says, because you will be more confident in yourself.
Once you've found a good time to be alone, you have to use it to its full potential. Don't just lounge about on social media. Spend time writing, watching your favorite TV show, cooking, reading or whatever you love to do. Try a new hobby or take a walk. You may find out that some things are more freeing when you do them alone, but you will never know until you try.
Spending time alone provides a unique opportunity to do crazy things. And no, I don't mean skydiving or speeding around town at two in the morning. When you are alone, you have the freedom to sing as loudly and awfully as you like. When you are alone, you can dance around the house in fuzzy socks with no one to judge. When you are alone, you don't have to worry about looking presentable or even wearing proper clothes. (No bras anyone?)
When you invest in alone time, you discover more of who you are. It is in these raw and unfiltered moments that you get to pause and reflect on who you are and where you are going. Without a crowd of people to define you, you must determine where your identity roots itself. Entrepreneur put it like this, "When around others, even when you don’t realize it, you monitor people’s reactions in order to gauge the appropriateness of your own feelings and actions. When you’re alone, it’s all on you. You develop your own ideas and opinions, without having them watered down by what anyone else thinks."
Always keep in mind, though, that you are never truly alone. God is always with you. He is with you in the quiet moments and in the crazy interactions. I've found that God speaks the loudest when my surroundings are the quietest. The passionate moments at worship services impact me, but for me the times of soul-searching, Bible-reading prayer far outweigh corporate worship. Use this alone time to connect with God. Be with Him, even if it is silent and small.
"And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." (Matthew 28:20)
"I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me." (Psalm 139:7-10)
Alone time is a gift to be cherished. This past week I've house sat for a family. I spent more time alone than ever before, and I've loved it. I've found that it refreshes my mind, gives me a strange impulse to make single serving apple crisps (which turned out fab), provides me a chance to discover more of who God created me to be, and gives me a continuous conversation with the Lord, broken only by the cat meowing at me.
A party for one can bring the house down. How will you seek alone time today?
