At the end of last month, rapper Mac Miller crashed his G-Wagon in a DUI accident following his breakup with long-term girlfriend Ariana Grande.
Also following their breakup was the news that she was rumored to be dating Pete Davidson, which some fans felt was rather soon for Ariana to be moving on, and possibly could have upset Mac Miller leading him to choose to drink and drive.
One fan posted a tweet stating "Mac Miller totaling his G wagon and getting a DUI after Ariana Grande dumped him for another dude after he poured his heart out on a ten song album about her called the divine feminine is just the most heartbreaking thing happening in Hollywood." Ariana Grande then quoted the tweet defending herself by posting a screenshot saying "I am not a babysitter or a mother and no woman should feel that they need to be. I have cared for him and tried to support his sobriety & prayed for his balance for years (and always will of course) but shaming/blaming women for a man's inability to keep his shit together is a major problem. Let's please stop doing that. "
@FlintElijah https://t.co/1GPM6smsBu— Ariana Grande (@Ariana Grande) 1527090043.0
Although the news that Ariana Grande had moved on to someone new might have been absolutely devastating to Mac Miller, that does not at all warrant his behavior.
Drinking and driving is never okay, and he is lucky that nobody was hurt by his careless actions. In fact, totaling his G-Wagon is probably the least damaging thing that could have occurred in result of his own negligent actions, and is actually not as heartbreaking as his fans are making it out to be. Accidents as a result of drunk driving occur at least once every 53 minutes in the United States, claiming approximately 10,000 lives per year. Just because there was a celebrity behind the wheel makes no difference, his actions are still as reckless as any other drunk driver, regardless of whether or not he was distraught over his recent breakup.
Too often women are blamed for the actions of their spouse or significant other without any regard for their side of the story.
Although Ariana never spoke publicly about her toxic relationship with Mac Miller, that doesn't mean that it didn't happen. Women are not babysitters or nurturers of their partners, and should not be held to such a standard. Mac Miller is a grown ass man, at this point in his life, nobody is responsible for his actions aside from himself. That being said, Ariana Grande should be allowed to move on with her life and be treated as no less than a princess, after all, Miller did write the song "Cinderella" off his album "The Divine Feminine" about Ariana and their relationship together.
This sort of blame doesn't only occur in Hollywood either, I strongly believe that many girls nowadays feel responsible for their significant others' behavior, often times blaming themselves for their partners' shortcomings.
Here is the simple truth: it is not your fault.
I too have been in a similar situation where I blamed myself when a very important boy in my life was struggling and unable to get his life together, often making mistake after mistake and somehow finding a way to blame me. "Well maybe if you wouldn't stress me out so much I would be able to focus more on myself," was a common phrase that I heard time and time again, and the truth is, none of it was my fault. What was happening was toxic to not only himself but also to me, and I had to learn that nobody is going to change their actions for anyone else besides themselves, so I had to let that person go so they could realize that what they were doing wasn't hurting me nearly as much as it was hurting them.
This isn't just destructive for the person that's getting blamed either, the real problem here is that toxic masculinity in today's society has made it so that men feel as if they can't show any sort of weakness or emotion without being seen or perceived as being weak.
Yes, Mac Miller has every right to be devastated over his breakup with Ariana Grande. The two clearly shared a lot of private moments and like anyone following a break up, he deserves to be able to feel whatever emotions he finds relevant during this major life change. However, that again does not warrant his choice to be destructive by drinking and driving.
A relationship should not feel like your partner's actions are burdening you by weighing on your shoulders, meanwhile you bottle it all up because you don't want anyone to have to try to understand the truth, nor do you feel like having to explain it to anyone.
Like Ariana stated, you are not a babysitter, you are not their mother. You are supposed to be an equal in a relationship, you should not have to take on someone else's responsibilities because they would rather be self destructive.
Trust me, the best thing you can do for them and yourself is choosing to walk away hoping that they will find light at the end of the dark tunnel they seem to be spiraling down.