Recently I have been in a weird spot in my faith that I haven’t had a lot of experience in. I haven’t been doubting the existence of God, but I haven’t been feeling as close to Him as usual. I read my Bible and worship Him as per usual, but I have been feeling distant, and it’s not a good feeling.
I was recently on a mission trip and I think God is definitely trying to teach me about patience and listening. Usually when I am on Spoke Folk we have devotions that make me ball my eyes out every night in awe of what Jesus did for me, and how much he loves me. It is in those moments that I have felt the closest to God and have felt his presence. For some reason, this year was different and I spent a lot of time wondering what it is He is trying to teach me through this.
I am not saying I have anywhere close to all the answers, and that is perfectly okay. People often have this misconception that Christians must have all of the answers, but that is so not true. I am constantly learning, and when I don’t have answers, that is when the faith part comes into play.
What I think he is trying to teach me is the power of trust, and also being still. My life is very go go go, so taking time to just be still and listen to God is a bit of a struggle sometimes. I think a lot of the times when I am praying, I do a lot of talking but not a lot of listening. I saw a quote today from Toby Mac that honestly kind of inspired me to write about this very topic and it read “Practice the Pause. When in doubt, pause. When Angry, pause. When tired, pause. When stressed pause. And when you pause, pray.” It reminded me that no matter what season I am in, whether on a spiritual high or feeling stagnant, to pray. If I am very content at the moment, praise Him. If I am sad, praise Him. If I am doubting, praise Him. We are told to count it all Joy. God uses everything to teach us, even our doubts. We might see what he taught us much later down the road, but He uses it to teach us and he may also use it in order for you to reach someone who has experienced the same thing.
The other thing I do know is that the closer you get to Jesus, the harder it often gets. The more you get to know Jesus, and the more you spread His word, the harder the Devil works to come after you. It is when he does this that you must cling to everything you know to be true. Ephesians 6:11-18 says “Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. 12 For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. 14 Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. 15 For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. 16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. 17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.”
My prayer is that for anyone out there going through a period of doubt or just feeling distant from God, you pray without ceasing, and you just trust in Him, even when it doesn’t feel like it makes sense. He uses everything, and He is the most trustworthy thing we have, so tell him everything you are feeling and listen. Take five minutes out of every day and just listen to what he may be trying to tell you. Like I said, I don’t have all the answers but our God sure does, and I know I can rest in that. I hope you find people that you can talk through this with that always point you to Jesus, and that you constantly rely on Him as your rock. We can get through this friends, and come out of it with a whole new perspective. Stay strong and remember to pause.
"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Isaiah 41:10
