We must align our values, attitude and beliefs with our goals. It is clear when we are out of alignment. Things don’t come as easily. Frustration, resentment and false-pride assume a much larger part of what motivates us on a regular basis. If we can catch this misalignment soon enough, however, it may only be a matter of an adjustment of a few degrees which is required to set ourselves back on course.
If we are unaware of this misalignment, choose to ignore it, or otherwise fail to recognize it, the course correction may require much more energy on our part. It is easier to correct for a few degrees than for a 180° turn-around. The key to this correction process comes down to three key features: raising our awareness, bringing brutal honesty to bear on the situation, and committing to change what is necessary.
Awareness
Becoming more aware or raising our awareness involves being in the moment; living life in the here and now rather than regretting the past or worrying about future events. Regret can be a real block to raising one’s awareness as guilt and shame are usually related to a state of regret. Regretting what one did or what was said, feeling guilty over the pain we’ve caused others or feeling shame concerning physical, emotional or sexual abuse can all lead to a state whereby a person’s attention is rarely present in the here and now. Letting go of this baggage can be a long and painful struggle. The goal will be realized, however, through honest introspective analysis, by challenging deeply held negative core beliefs and via group sessions in which the trust that develops among one’s peers is conducive to a release of these past experiences through the group sharing process.
Being attentive to the present moment can be sidetracked by constant worry about things to come. We can all do what we can to direct our lives such that risk, although never eliminated, can be managed. When a person commits themselves to doing all that they can to manage the risk that the future holds, they can rest easy knowing that all has been done. Worry is described as a state of anxiety and uncertainty over potential problems. These problems are potential. They only exist in the mind. They are not actual. Worry is a useless and degenerating exercise. It serves no purpose but to pull one from the present moment. It lowers our awareness. Raising our awareness is a key component of staying on course in our lives.
Honesty
Have you ever committed yourself to a fearless moral inventory of your life? When you question your motives, are you brutally honest with yourself? Do you find that by lying to yourself you can distract your thoughts away from your personal truth? Being honest, especially with yourself, can be the one of the most difficult experiences one can go through.
Honesty requires that we recognize not just the good in ourselves, but the bad aspects as well. By being dishonest with ourselves, or by ignoring or deflecting the truth, we are able to cope, albeit in an unhealthy manner. Although this may be an effective, short-term coping mechanism and it may provide temporary relief and a sense of short-lived well-being, it is, in the long term, unhealthy and destructive. Taking responsibility for our mistakes and owning our defects of character can be difficult at times. How often do we feel the need to blame others for our mistakes or misfortunes? Being honest in this regard is key to learning from and correcting our mistakes.
Another important component to honesty is understanding that we don’t always have the answer to an issue at hand. We can’t know everything. By understanding our limitations, we are better able to employ honesty to a situation that requires it. Being honest about what we don’t know or understand fosters humility and a realistic view of ourselves. Don’t be afraid to admit that you don’t know. Ask questions. Be grateful that you are in a position to do so and learn from the experience.
Take the time to reflect daily on what went well in your life today. What did you do wrong? In what areas could you have done better? Daily self-analysis is critical to honesty becoming a habit; a second-hand behavior. By understanding the nature of your thoughts, attitudes and feelings, on a daily basis, you will be much better equipped for dealing with current circumstances.
Commitment
Commitment is an honest, straightforward determination to deliver what was promised, and is vital to staying on course toward a re-invented individual dedicated to changing what needs changing and growing in the direction of dreams and goals. A dedicated commitment first requires a well-defined goal to be achieved. The goal should include specifics; what is to be achieved, the time it will take to achieve the goal, and how this goal fits into the broader goal of the re-invention of the individual.
Remember that a particular goal should be examined to ascertain whether or not it can be broken down into smaller, more easily achievable targets.
Once the goal has been defined, a commitment is made to achieve the goal. A commitment includes dedication; giving all that is required in order to fulfill the task at hand. A commitment includes devotion; a love, loyalty and enthusiasm for the cause. A commitment includes fidelity; faithfulness to the cause or goal. A commitment includes responsibility; the state of being accountable for one’s actions. A commitment includes obligation, or being morally bound to the cause.
Knowing these components of a commitment, the action associated with commitment becomes uncomplicated. The difficulty begins when the desire to deliver on the commitment becomes outweighed by the honesty and work required to achieve the desired end. This requires willpower, which, for many of us, we may find lacking to a degree.
To increase our willpower it is important that we begin immediately to develop good habits. The resolution to commit to a cause will introduce stress to the environment. When stressed, we are likely to use old habits in order to deal with the stressful situation. These habits, whether good or bad, are our way of coping. By developing new habits, we can cope in a more healthy manner. Deal with stressful situations by listening to calming music or by exercising. Take dance or yoga classes. Take hikes and walks in natural surroundings. Eat a healthy diet. Don’t drink alcohol to excess or abuse drugs. Handle stressful situations and events by doing things that are healthy for you.
Additionally, always utilize the powerful tool known as visualization.The body often responds to imagined situations in the same way it responds to experienced ones. If you imagine lying on a peaceful beach, listening to the waves gently lapping the shore and tasting the salty sea air, your body will respond by relaxing. If instead you imagine being late for an important meeting, your body will tense in response. You can use this to your advantage in building willpower.
