Feminism: the belief that all the sexes are equal. Add in some intersectionality and you have that everyone should be equal regardless of their identifier— whether it be race, gender, or religion. However, feminism has a history of excluding groups. And white feminists have been very exclusive since before the suffragette movement.

“We are all women so we all have the same struggles!” We don’t. “I am an intersectional feminist!” That’s not enough. Saying it is not enough. “I’m white but I am totally down with intersectional feminism.” But are we? Are we as white feminists really down to destroy the patriarchy? Here are some questions we can ask ourselves as white feminists.

Are we really down with the causes we boast about on social media?

I am a white woman and a feminist, so I am a white feminist who can scream “Bras are the handcuffs of the patriarchy!” and “Black lives matter!” but my words are just that. They are words with no meaning until I have given action to them. If I saw an act that oppressed another group of people, would I act? Would I wait to act? How many times have I waited for social media activists to tell me what to think? How many times have I smiled and did not defend someone in the face of oppression and inequality? How many times did I purposely talk about an issue, not to raise awareness and bring about change, but to make people think and believe that I care deeply about these issues? To make them think I was not like “other” white feminists. But I am like other white feminists. I am a white feminist.

When was the last time I checked myself and privilege?

Sometimes we are afraid of our own flaws. To check ourselves does not mean we are any less as people, it only makes us better people. It makes us better feminists. I am still a white feminist who benefits from scholarship committees, mentoring and extended networks. I am a white feminist and post about black lives, transgender people and misogyny on Facebook. I can drone on about intersectionality all day long, but I am still a part of the problem by being more worried about my own image than the actual oppressed.

How can I be a better ally?

First off, we can start by listening. Stop grabbing the microphone so much and actually listen. We can stop whitesplaining to people why they are victims of oppression. They get it. We’re the ones who don’t. We may be in this fight against the Patriarchy, but we need to acknowledge that as white feminists we have white privilege.

Overall, we need to question ourselves more. I need to question myself more when looking at my intentions for social movements outside my identification. I should be doing more than just sharing articles about social injustice. I need to do more than retweet about #BlackLivesMatter. I can't just talk about it, I need to be about it. We need to check ourselves and each other because feminism cannot be intersectional based upon words. They will just be empty words about white feminists destroying what is left of the patriarchy.