Anyone who knows me, knows that I often question societal norms, injustices, and various other issues that just boggle my mind. One thing in particular that I don't understand, is the way people sometimes use religion as a way of coming to terms with tragedy. I'm not saying that I'm against religion or that I think it's impractical; I understand why some people need it, I understand that believing in something bigger than yourself can help you get through tough times. I simply mean that for me, as someone who struggles with believing in God, I sometimes don't understand how tragedy can strike and people can still remain so unwavering in their faith.

There are so many bad things happening in the world everyday. I find it hard to see these things happening and think that there's a reason for any of it. Because I'm not religious, sentiments like "everything happens for a reason," and "God has a plan," don't give me any comfort. I have questions. What reason could God have to let innocent people die, and why would that ever be apart of his plan? If anything, these phrases make me feel worse because if God is real, why does he let us suffer?

I won't lie, I admire people who believe in their faith so adamantly. I'm sure it makes it a little easier for them to get through life with the notion that their God is watching over them or that because of their God, this mixed up world somehow has purpose. I just can't bring myself to believe in it. To me it feels too perfect. If everything that happens in the world, good or bad, has a purpose I have yet to see it.

Maybe I'm just too cynical. I feel like the older I get, the less I believe in the good in the world. I haven't seen a lot of it to be honest, and for me, saying that everything happens for a reason is just a cop out from actually trying to understand a bad situations and the emotions it invokes. I want to understand it. I want to analyze it and figure out why it happened the way it did and what could've been done to prevent it. I don't want to feel like I'm powerless in the situations I'm in because God has already predetermined my outcomes. I believe that every choice we make is what leads us to an outcome. If we alter the routine one day, or decide to go to Walmart instead of target, or get pizza for lunch instead of a sandwich, a whole slew of things change course and ultimately, change where we end up at any given moment. I believe that the power of our destiny is within us, not a God.

That being said, everyone has different ways of dealing with life and there's nothing wrong with it. I think the world is too scary of a place for people to not believe in something, but religion isn't for everyone and that's ok. Believe in whatever you have to in order to get through the curveballs life throws at you. I think it's more about feeling like you're not alone.