It's 4 a.m. and, for the second time this evening, I am awake with my newborn baby as she screams for food. I lift myself out of bed, struggling with such a lack of sleep, grabbing the baby from the comfy confines of her pack and play bassinet and, only seconds later, reach for my cell phone. Even in my extreme fatigue, I do not dare forget my cell phone. I shuffle into the other room, place the bottle into the baby’s mouth with one hand and cradle her head with the crook of my other arm, placing my cell phone in that hand. I continue to scroll through Facebook and Pinterest until it’s time for the baby to be burped.
This, of course, isn’t the first time I’ve done this. Only a couple weeks after my baby was born I caught myself and my fiancé turning to our cell phones to keep us occupied when the baby was asleep in our arms or during those late night feedings in an effort to keep us awake. It was then when I began to question if this was the new normal way parenting or just a new breed of bad mom.
With the age of technology broadening, this generation of parents is the most reliant on technology compared to others. For the most part, this is a good thing. Technology has made parenting a lot easier. You can now get answers to any question from “What’s the most recommended car seat?" to “Is that color of poop normal?” in mere seconds. This takes a lot of the scare out of parenting. I can’t tell you how many times my fears were calmed in a matter of seconds as soon as I Googled my concern.
However, what happens when technology takes over and it becomes more of a reliance than a safety net? What happens when more time is spent scrolling through social media than Googling a stream of parenting questions? There is no question that as children get older, they will feel neglected when forced to compete with technology for their parent’s attention. A study of students ages 8-13 confirmed that 32 percent felt unimportant when their parents spent more time on their cell phones. This lack of attention can lead to acting out and behavioral problems. Feelings of being neglected by parents can also lead to a host of mental issues including depression, anxiety, and self-esteem issues.
Not only does this stunning 32 percent of children risk suffering from a host of mental and behavioral issues, but their parents’ excessive cell phone use can cause some second hand concerns as well. Children who grow up with parents addicted to technology or social media would no doubt be more vulnerable to the same addictions. This never ending cycle of technology addiction from parent to child results in the family spending more time engaged in their cell phones than in conversations with each other. Children who spend more time focusing on their cell phones spend less time enjoying the outdoors or non-technology based activities, which leads to a lower IQ.
Sure, this is what happens when children are children, but what about when they are still just babies? The truth is, if this consistent glaring at phones begins at such an early age of the child, it will no doubt continue to the vulnerable ages of 8-13. If I am picking up my phone every time my baby needs to eat instead of talking to her or paying attention to her, it is unlikely I will break out of this bad habit. It is like smoking cigarettes or watching TV instead of going to the gym. It takes days and days to break out of a bad habit, not to mention the days and days wasted doing the habit. Those are countless days and weeks which could be spent worshiping the short time we have with our children. These precious fleeting moments disappear at the blink of an eye. So, the next time you parents are tempted to pick up the phone while holding your precious baby, savor the moment instead, because it won’t last long.
