A loss is a tricky subject to deal with. No one is ever prepared for the loss of a loved one or the loss of someone in your community, so when it happens we are nothing but shocked. We are completely petrified, as we are suddenly hit with the sinking sensation that yes, death is a very real thing.
Speaking from personal experience as a college student, I tend to think of myself as invincible sometimes. I make foolish decisions, I chance the stop light, I don't look before I cross, I feed myself nothing but junk daily... and I have found that many of us do the same. We don't realize the dangers we put ourselves in until we are faced with a loss so incredibly heartbreaking that we have to pause to think about our choices and the choices of those around us... how we interact with others, what we say, what we do, how other people perceive our actions.
When we lose someone, we almost go into detective mode to try to figure out how such a thing could possibly have happened. We ask friends for details, we think back to previous conversations with the person, we beat our heads against the wall trying to look for any signs we might have noticed and addressed to prevent it. However, all this investigating and self-condemning never changes the fact that the person is just gone. And out of this realization, we are left dazed, hurt, and weary.
After a loss, many of us don't know how on earth we can continue leading a normal life. It seems strange and heartless that the world has the audacity to keep spinning without them in it.
Yet, reality requires us to move on. And when it does, we have absolutely no clue how.
Many people turn to things they think will make them feel better: drinking, sex, smoking, anything to numb the pain. The sadness is dealt with in a way that takes the feeling away temporarily, but always brings it back again even worse than it was before. In these times of bitter heartbreak when we seem to question everything we hold to be true about life, it's very tempting to take the easy way out and avoid the pain. However, doing this will only lead to more despair and hurt.
But the hurt does not have to remain.
There is a choice we are faced with at the loss of a loved one. We can either choose to try to deal with the pain ourselves in our own time and way, or we can choose to give the pain over to God.
We can allow ourselves to find peace in the knowledge that He is good and just and He is capable of wiping away every tear from our eyes. We can choose to place our emotional burdens on Him and take comfort in the family and friends we have around us. We can choose to be more intentional in our words and actions, loving people rather than tearing them down. We can spend our time in grief and mourning for a life that was loved, then choose to let the experience change us for the better.
There is a time to mourn for every life that is lost. However, there is also a time to rise and let God carry the burden. Let us not allow the first to outweigh the latter.
