Faith: Strong belief in God or the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof.
Throughout this season 14 of Grey's Anatomy, we've seen the biggest pillar of faith lose her faith. April Kepner has always been the person the entire hospital can count on for words of wisdom during hard times. Unfortunately, April lost her faith after she lost three patients in one day. She begins drinking and sleeping with an intern, showing up to work hungover.
April has turned into a ghost of the person we all fell in love with throughout the years.
I never had faith in a god of any kind. I believed in heaven and hell but that's it. When I started school at a Roman Catholic Institution, I realized that this was my chance to find my faith, as a fictional character on my favorite show was losing hers. Finding my faith has turned into a journey. I have yet to figure out what I believe in and what religion best fits me. I've attended a Catholic mass and I felt awkward. I've gone to church on Sunday at a Baptist church and felt uplifted. Faith is such a particular thing that you have to be careful with. Figuring out what religion you want to devote your life to is hard.
April is a devout Christian, someone I could relate to as she began to question her faith.
If God loves us so much, why do bad things happen? As she was debating this, we were discussing God and suffering in my Christian Theology course. God lets us suffer, let his own son suffer, and we still love him. We love him because there is a reason for our suffering, as it is all a part of God's plan for us. We don't know God's plan for us, so we get angry when something bad happens.
I believe that by the time I graduate, I will know who I am as a Christian or Baptist or Catholic. I may choose not to choose a religion. All I know is that I have found my faith but not my religion.
I found my faith when April found hers.
Knowing that there are good times and bad while you become an adult helps me feel better about my crisis of faith. We will all know who we are and what our religion and faith are. It all takes time. We will have a crisis of faith, lose our faith and have to find it again. This is all a part of life.
Finding my faith and working towards finding my religion has been an adventure.