My sweet African American friends,

I am sorry.

Black history month started off with a lot of controversies last week at Houghton. And it ended with an unwelcoming note being slipped under someone's door. Let me just say that I am not one who used to be involved in "wars on racism," for lack of a better term. I never thought of black people as bad people. I never thought of any other race as bad. My view on everything was that: I am not a racist, so as long as I am doing my part in being loving, everything is fine. But everything is not fine. When someone is hurting, I should have empathy. I should care for them and want to fight for them, instead of making myself feel better by saying I would never do anything racist, sitting back, and watching others fight. We are told throughout grade school that sitting back and not getting involved is just as bad as doing the disgraceful act, whatever it may be. And it's true. If I claim to love, why would I let someone I love fight a battle without joining in with them?

I am sorry that I let politics cloud my ability to love you well. Just because I don't agree with you on everything doesn't mean that I have to shy away from supporting your causes that I do agree with. My identity should not be found in politics. My identity should be found in Christ.

I'll be real with you. I'm tired of all of this. I wish we could all just get along, be nice to each other, and forget about labels. I don't want to see people hurting, but I also don't have a strong desire to fight against the hate. I don't know why that is. Maybe it's because there are so many problems in the world that I feel overwhelmed. I feel like anything I tried to do couldn't possibly make a difference and would be a waste of time.

But I realize that is bad thinking. Nothing ever gets done by sitting back and letting evil take over. Instead of "going with the flow" I should start pushing back against evil pressures by doing more than what I'm doing now. It doesn't matter what our views are on certain issues- I think everyone can agree that love is a good thing.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.It always protects, always trusts, always hope, always perseveres.Love never fails." -1 Corinthians 13:4-8

So I will try to love you better, with that verse in mind. I'm sorry for not sticking up for you sooner. I will be praying for you. I pray that someday we won't have to worry about race and that we can just focus on treating everyone with respect and equality. I hope you'll pray for me, that I won't stop loving, and that I will keep learning how to love better.

With love,

Your sister in Christ