Everything that's going on in the world, coupled with everything that's going on within ourselves, can together be extremely overwhelming. Sometimes, I daydream about standing up and walking outside, and starting a completely new life. I feel this is a form of disassociation, and can help us to pause, regroup, and analyze our lives. So, here are some poems that I've written, to really grasp the emotional dynamics of me doing this.
Bounds
All ties to everything
in my life
are bound to my neck with string
weakened with the wind that breaks the clouds
and smells of absinthe.
These bounds threaten to choke me
every day, If I dont,
stand on my toes
in my six inch heels.
The day will come when I, look
out the window for the third time,
and see the sky full of storms and sunshine,
and I will choose,
to cut the strings leaving
my hands bloodied and scarred.
Ill walk out the door
leaving behind everything
and a pair of heels.
To a life where, breathing is easy,
and the only bounds I have are the ones
binding closed my past forever.Gone Cold.
The sun casts a cool tone shade,
onto my ash blonde hair
as I walk down the walk
breathing in the air,
laced with smoke.
My heels make a sound,
beating the ground like a drum, without a care.
In this world, no matters here, they left
long ago when I, donned my Versace
and Vera Wang, and put on my sunglasses for the
first time, and looked at the warm sunset once more.
Before my days and nights stayed cool, my lips only
spoke blue-red hues, my eyes once a warm turquoise pool,
froze to bitter, summer ice. The pink left my skin
and fled to Caicos.
That friday evening when I faded my reds,
and washed my clothes in a bath of blue,
whited my golds and toned my hair.
The marilyn of the new millennium.
I stamp the pavement under my gait,
with memories, of my
ink-stained letters and my, dry thirst.
The days before I sold all substance to myself.
for a bottle of numbing cold.
when I traded warmth for feeling,
traded happiness for healing,
and vowed never to light another candle
for I no longer deserve any warmth.
I only deserve the icy stare of the
moonlit chandelier, above my boudoir.
Apathetic
The bitter droning in my head,
The silence that has a sound,
Forever whistling in my ear.
A lost thing never to be found.
I feel myself, lifted to the air
but I will never go nowhere.
Because all emotion has been stolen.
leaving me, only me,
driving in a beaten cadillac
with an off colored door,
on the coast of an infinite beach,
the ocean never ending.
The wind beating my still face,
eyes half shut, waiting,
for an end thatll never come.
Jumping up at midnight,
a bag of many nothings
in my hand.
The trees I didnt plant have died.
I leave the door open, because
I dont close doors.
Driving on a road I dont know
to where it leads,
but I have to leave, everything
I ever knew behind me,
Because I can take no longer,
this Apathy.
