So apparently the things that happen in my home, aka my trap house of an apartment, are quite humorous. The Grand Canyon prank took off as a hit amongst all of our friends and family. I thought for this week, why not carry on the tradition of sharing the crazy complicated life that I call my living environment? This week our finest moment would definitely go to my dearest Torrey. She talked herself into ordering a seventy-dollar pair of rollerblades. Yes, she talked HERSELF into buying them, none of us roommates take any responsibility in encouraging this purchase. Mind you she has never rollerbladed a day in her life and claims it took her six years to ice skate, which she also doesn't know how to do, but she was determined and eager. They came this past Tuesday before Torrey got home from class. Kristen and I stared at the box - we dreaded their arrival. We turned to each other with a look in our eyes as if to say, "is that it? Could it be?" We both were overcome with the fear that this would not end well. Torrey even explained that her practice would be done in the apartment. I had “flash-forwards” (inside joke to Torrey) to broken items, scratched up floors and a not-so-fun hospital visit.
Kristen and I went on with the rest of our day - went to class and ran some errands. By the time we made it back to the apartment, everyone was home and we all collapsed on the couch per usual with Gossip Girl reruns in the back. Copious amounts of food and trash everywhere, because let’s face it, for sorority girls we live like fraternity boys regardless of how much I wish we did not exhibit this lifestyle. Torrey went for her boxes - there were many of them, but she knew which box contained the blades.
She ripped through the brown box packaging to reveal these chunky black rollerblades, which resembled more of men’s hockey skates. “OK guys, I am gonna go for it,“ Torrey laid back into our fuzzy chair, laced up and Velcroed her skates. She sat there for a good five minutes, staring at her feet laughing uncontrollably. She had Madison encouraging her to get out the chair to fall on her butt, and Kristen and I were in a maternal state with concerned looks on our faces, as if we were watching our child try out for tackle football for the first time. Kristen removed herself from the apartment before things could go terribly wrong, scurrying off to dinner with her mom. This left me to be the only voice of reason - which believe me, is not usually my job. Finally, Torrey decided it was time to try and stand. She struggled and scrambled out of the chair. She sputtered across the living room passing by the couch and television making her way down the hallway never releasing her grasp from a wall. She was up, she was not falling, but was she rollerblading? That’s up for discussion. I was impressed on how she got moving, but it was like watching a baby deer taking its first steps - a magical experience, but also disturbing. You want to hold the baby deer up and walk beside them, but I remained in my spot on the couch, silent with my disapproving attitude. That being said, Torrey was the most beautiful baby deer I have ever seen. Not many people can rock not being able rollerblade, but if anyone can it is her.
After a few minutes of watching this attempt, Madison begged and pleaded to take over and show her “how it was done.” She told us she had rollerbladed before, and I am a strong advocate for muscle memory, so I had no doubt of her ability. The minute she snapped those blades on, she was gliding and, quite frankly, kicking Torrey’s butt. This only further frustrated Torrey and she started to get amped. Torrey is such a passionate person, I have never met someone so willing to try anything and she never lets failure discourage her, even when others encourage her to be discouraged. It is a trait I hope she continues to teach me and I hope to one day also possess as graciously as she does. After Madison had her fun and Torrey’s spirit to succeed grew, I knew I had to give it a shot, if not to just mess with Torrey. Mind you I have never in my life rollerbladed. I have ice skated and I am not too shabby, but my mother had been quite the rollerblader in her day, so I was relying on hopefully some genetic skills. I strapped the bulky skates on, picked myself off the couch, found my balance, and… I was off and running. I was good at it. You can imagine Torrey’s face and the laughter that was exploding from the apartment. Yes, all of us could use the roller blades BUT Torrey. Her frustration grew to an all-time high and she demanded the skates back to practice some more.
She ventured out into the apartment hallway hearing it was better to “practice on carpet." The minute she was at the door ,all it took was a glance to Joelie and we were on the same page, we both leapt to deadbolt the apartment door trapping Torrey outside with nothing but her skates. “You can come back inside when you have learned how to skate,“ and “no dinner until you have mastered the art of blading,” were yelled from inside our apartment. I believe we left her outside for a full 20 minutes before we allowed her to come back in after begging and pleading.
