Unpredictability has always had the tendency to frighten us because what is unpredictable, has an uncertain outcome. The unknown seems so frightening, we don't even like to talk about it. We feel we cannot control something if the outcome is unknown, and that lack of control can cause a certain anxiety. Yet, there are so many things that are unknown to us, and we don't even notice that they are, so, why does the unknown of the future scare us so much?
Whether they admit it or not, everyone is scared of the future. For different reasons, in different ways, whether it's just a bit scared or completely petrified, everyone fears it at one point, and that's okay. Those who believe they have everything planned out fear that their plan will not go as they imagine it will. Those who don't know what to do with their life, fear that they never will. Those who just "go with the flow", fear that someday that just won't be enough anymore. Everything either links or is related to success and expectations. We fear we will not be as successful as we hope to be, some fear they won't reach what others expect of them, others fear they will not fill their own expectations.
Expectations are a funny thing. The literal definition, according to Merriam-Webster, is the belief that something will happen or is likely to happen. Everyone expects to achieve something in life, whether it's a career, a family, a trip, a bucket list, or all of the above; we all have expectations. The worst kind of expectations, in my opinion, are the ones others have of us. Other people will always expect either more or less from us than we expect from ourselves. Parents tend to expect more out of their kid, which can lead to a certain fear. There are people who don't go for what they want in their life or don't realize what they want, out of fear of disappointing others. They believe that what they love, or what they could love does not meet the expectations others have of them, so they just follow another path, hoping it is the right one. Is it, though? Who defines what is right? Who defines you? Or, What defines you?
Only you can define you. Don't let other people's expectations cloud your passions. The only expectation that matters, is what you expect of yourself. The future will always be uncertain, but like Malcolm X said;
"The future belongs to those who prepare for it today."
So, set goals, even if they are small. Set yourself to accomplish a little more every day, and even if you don't have it all figured out, it's okay. Time is your best friend, try to make the most of it. The Universe, or God, or whatever you believe in probably has a plan for you. Even if you are feeling lost and confused now, eventually you will find the right path.
No one expects you to have it all figured out right now. We're young, we have the world ahead of us. We all have passions and dreams, follow them. If you feel like you don't, that's okay too, you will find what you love in the most unexpected ways. Don't settle for less just to satisfy other's expectations of yourself, as I said before,the only one that matters is what you expect of yourself. So, believe in yourself. Know that you can accomplish anything you set your mind too. What seems impossible today, could be the most common thing tomorrow. To Abraham Lincoln, the idea iPhone would probably seem impossible, yet to us, is the most familiar thing there is.
There are so many things that are unknown to us, we don't know what we don't know. What we plan today could change tomorrow, and that's fine. Don't freak out when things don't turn out the way you thought they would. Know that, eventually, everything will be okay.
"Map out your future - but do it in pencil. The road ahead is as long as you make it. Make it worth the trip."
-Jon Bon Jovi
Success is up to you. If you want to achieve something in life, you have to set your heart on it. The past, mistakes, insecurities, and so many other things could fog your path, but eventually, the fog fades. Don't let anyone define what you can become, or convince you of what you should become, only you have the power to do that. Don't be afraid of disappointing others, people who truly care about you will always be proud, as long as you are happy and doing something you love.
"Going with the flow" is perfectly okay, but just, try to plan small things, even if they don't end up exactly like you plan them. Start out small, set goals for the day, then for the week, the month, the year, and so forth. Take a nap, read a book, go to the beach, smile. Life is so short, stressing all the time is just a waste of it. Even though the future is important, and studies, and work, happiness is also important. So, take a break every know and then. If you feel like you don't have time for it, make some time. Watch an episode of Grey's Anatomy, eat some ice cream, take a walk. Life is meant for living while stressing, not just one or the other.
It's perfectly fine to be scared. One day we feel like we have all the time in the world, and the next we realize that time passes so quickly we don't even notice it. What scares you today, could motivate you tomorrow. So, just remember, it's all going to be okay, even in moments where it doesn't seem like it, or when it feels like we're drowning, we'll be okay. Life is all about perspective. A puddle can seem like the ocean, we could keep drowning without knowing that all we have to do, is stand up and we'll be fine. Optimism is also a very important part of life, try it sometime. Look at the bright side of things.
Lastly, relax. Don't depend so much on the future. Your future depends on what you do know, so live for it. Embrace the present in order to prepare yourself for what will come.
“You can't stop the future
You can't rewind the past
The only way to learn the secret
...is to press play.”
― Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why
