Look back on the day you just had. How much of that time did you spend on judging others? When I asked myself this question, I felt my heart sink. I am guilty of it and so is everyone else. I would love to be able to sit here and write how I am such an understanding, open, loving person that I don't judge anyone, but I am far from. I judge. And I mean judge. And I absolutely hate it. Out of all the things I do throughout the day, that is probably the one thing I do most, I can't seem to break the awful habit, and it even causes the most unhappiness within me.
Regardless of the situation. I judge others' clothing. I judge others' words. I judge others' actions. I don't want to say everyone does it, but it is almost as if it's a human instinct. I have come to only one conclusion of it, and that's to make myself feel better, which in the end, I feel awful. If you are 100 percent happy with yourself, you are a lot less likely to judge others. Lately, I've become a lot more happy and proud of myself of who I am, therefore, I am judging others less. Although, I still have a long way to go until I stop looking down on people and looking for the good.
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I have been thinking a lot about this the past few days. Judgement is a thing I do without thinking--all the time. Someone doesn't hold the door for me? I mumble some cuss words. Someone may come into class wearing something absolutely hideous? I think, "God who dressed them this morning?" A friend spends time with an awful person who did them wrong? I think, "That's pretty pathetic." When I come think about these things, which are only a few small examples, I realize that all of them could easily be me. I haven't held the door for someone, I have come out of my house looking hideous, and I have definitely spent some time with people I shouldn't have. I am too quick to judge when I could easily be in their shoes. The worst thing about it? I feel awful afterwards. When I judge someone, there is no happiness in my heart, nor do I feel good about myself--not even for a second. I hate the feeling of feeling judged myself, and I always believed in the idea of treating others the way you want to be treated. And I certainly wouldn't want someone whispering to a coworker, "Did you see how awful she looks today?" (And yes, I have said that.)
So why do I do it? At this moment, I think it's become more of a habit than anything. I believe it started off when I was younger as a way to bond with people, especially women. Whenever you talk about someone else, others gladly join in. (What an awful circle of life.) There is most definitely a bond that comes with judging others, I think it started in middle school and high school. It was a popularity thing. But I am not in middle school or high school anymore, I am in college. I am an adult and it's time to act like one.
I know I can change. It all starts with that positive outlook on life. One important thing I have to remember is that I am talking about negative judgments here. Not all judgments are bad. Not all judgments are hurtful or painful or wrong. But most of them are. Those are the ones I want to stop. I want to be a happy person, that makes other people's days even better. No one is going to put an end to my judging for me. Just like personal happiness, it's up to me to make a change.
We are very good lawyers for our own mistakes,but very good judges for the mistakes of others. Your job is not to judge. Your job is not to figure out if someone deserves something. Your job is to lift the fallen, to restore the broken, and to heal the hurting. It all starts with you. I am on my way to better and I couldn't be more happy.
