As a person of my word, I am trying to become more transparent in my faith. That being said, if you know me, I often struggle with anxiety. I think it's something we all deal with from time to time, but it hits me more often than the average person. Anxiety can manifest itself in a few ways, for some people, it's stress, for others, it might manifest in obsessions. For me, my anxiety is due mainly from stress, but can also come from the unknown. Sometimes I just find myself in tears and wondering why I'm crying.
Do you ever find yourself with tears streaming down your face? If you're human, then the answer to this question is yes. We all struggle with life from time to time. It's normal. If life was perfect, we would have no reason to yearn for heaven. However, if you find yourself struggling with life often, please seek out help. I believe that God never gives us more than we can handle, but I also believe we sometimes need people to pick us up and help us along the way.
Something I didn't know until recently, is that Timothy struggled heavily with anxiety. 1 and 2 Timothy are letters to Timothy from Paul, reminding him to not fear, and to trust in God. How easy would it be to just say "Oh okay I can stop crying now because God is gonna fix everything like magic. Boom!" It doesn't really work like that, does it? When I'm anxious, it's hard for me to drop everything and run to Jesus. I'd much rather get in my car and drive for a few hours blasting twenty one pilots, feeling sorry for myself. Recently, however, I've tried to change things up.
In the moments where I feel anxious, scared, or just plain sad, I grab my Bible, and open to Timothy. I personally relate more to 2 Timothy, where it says;
"Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind." - 2 Timothy 1:6-7
God doesn't want us to be anxious, or to be fearful. He wants us to believe that He is enough. When you're stressed over a test, remember, God is enough. When the person you like doesn't like you back, God is enough.
But how can we remember that God is enough in times of anxiety? For me, my anxiety comes from not understanding the present, and not being able to control the future. I like controlled outcomes, where I can predict exactly what will happen. It's why I like to rewatch the same TV shows over and over again. I already know the outcome.
Something I have to constantly remind myself of lately is that we only know a part, a portion of our story, but God wrote the book. He wrote us a beautiful life story, where we can choose to run to Him for safety, or run to the world for pleasure. Our faith is the constant pull between things of the world, or the safety of our Father's arms. When life seems like 4 walls closing down on you, remember, God wrote you a book, not a chapter. This chapter might be hard, or scary, but the next chapter could be the most beautiful one in the book.
Another thing I try to remember when my anxiety is bubbling to the surface, is that no matter what, God loves me, and He loves me more than anyone else ever will, or ever could. It's a reassuring thing to think about, especially when everything feels like its falling apart. Jesus gave His life so that you could live. It's the ultimate sacrifice. There is no greater love than that.
The next time anxiety strikes, remember stories like Timothy's. Although he was plagued with anxiety, he was still able to preach the word of God. He was still loved by the Lord. And God wrote Timothy a beautiful story. He wrote you a beautiful one too.
Don't forget, no matter how tough life can get, you are loved.
Always,
HMS
