I love food. I mean I am southern after all. Fried okra, anything chocolate, anything breakfast, anything good. It came as a shock to me when I lost all appetite for a month.

Towards the end of any college student’s semester, we become overwhelmed with a jam-packed schedule. Test, exams, projects, finals, and in my case, auditions. I had been preparing for this audition for the entire year. And when it got down to four weeks, my anxiety shot through the roof. I stressed about every single day. I had every waking moment scheduled to a T. On every weekday, I woke up at 6:30 am to go kickboxing, then came back and showered, had classes from 9 a.m.-2 p.m., studied, ran errands, prepared for auditions, showered, go to bed.

Notice no food. This is because if I did eat anything, it was a handful of granola, or blueberries, or a spoonful of peanut butter. My friends even noticed my lack of eating. They would offer to take me anywhere if it meant I would eat. But I had no desire to eat even the best breakfast Tuscaloosa could offer. I was so obsessed with being healthy and perfect, that I was completely unhealthy and a basket case.

My food dry spell made my anxiety soar. Nerves were at an all-time high. Days away from auditions, and I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off. At this point, I was having to force feed myself granola or blueberries. The first day of auditions, I was on a high. My day was going great, and I took it as a sign. Nerves were nowhere in sight. I was prepared. Then...everything hit me as I stepped onto the gym floor. All the nerves, anxiety, and four weeks of no food hit me like a train. For the first time in my life, I froze. I forgot everything I knew.

That night, my mother took me to Olive Garden, and I ate. I ate salad, a breadstick and a half, and pasta with grilled chicken. I gave my body the nutrition that it needed and deserved. Needless to say, I killed the final day of auditions. And after I made it, I went to Cookout and ate a burger, fries, slaw, and a milkshake.

My body shut down when I needed it the most because I deprived it of what it needed the most. I wanted to live a healthy life, but instead I was killing myself. I do want to emphasize that it was not the fact that I refused food, but more of I was not hungry. It was like my stomach turned off. Nothing sounded appetizing. I wish I could go back in time, and tell appetitless Lily to go eat a burger with a side salad. So Odyssey Readers, don’t starve yourself. Stay healthy, and eat.

Thrive On,

Lily