I suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It’s something that I have dealt with my entire life, but it wasn’t until I was diagnosed in 10th grade that I could put a label on it. One of the things that really makes me anxious is starting something new, especially when it interferes with an already established routine. One of these experiences has always been starting back at school after a long break.
When I was in high school, it would be when I started school after summer. Now, it is every semester since we have extended breaks in between semesters. Although I correlate my feelings with my diagnosed anxiety, I know that many of us (with and without diagnosed anxiety) experience a bit of anxiety when it comes to starting back at school, be it an excited anxiety or a fearful anxiety or a bit of both. However, mine is a bit more extreme than what some people experience.
I am excited to start new classes and see some of my friends. I am excited to get my syllabi and start planning out this semester and see what is in store for me. I am excited to meet my professors and hopefully like them.
Yet, no matter how excited I am, there is going to be anxiety bubbling in the pit of my stomach, hiding at the back of my mind, twitching in my legs, squeezing in my hands, etc. I will get through it. I know that I will find my new rhythm, my new routine, and everything will be fine.
Right now, that newness is what I fear, but once it is established I know that I will be fine. And so will all of you who feel similarly right now.
