Dear anxiety,

You have always been there for as long as I can remember. Always there in the back of my mind waiting until I get a little bit of confidence to make your appearance.

You always come at me with a slap in the face, knocking me down and whispering in my ear that I don't deserve anything positive or that everyone is looking at my flaws right now. And I have always believed you.

For years you have controlled my life. Every decision. Every thought.

Because of you, I missed out on many opportunities. I missed out on many chances to make a new friend. You have even ruined relationships with some of my current friends.

"Hey what are you doing? Come out with us tonight!"

Every time I want to go out and have some fun, you steal my opportunity and cause me to lie.

"I'm busy but maybe next time!"
"I'm not feeling that well right now but go ahead without me!"

Why do you treat me like this? Why do you make me feel bad about myself? Or make me feel like I don't deserve the amazing things that come in my path?

You have suffocated me my whole life and I've only ever wanted the feeling of fresh air.

I feel like others do not understand why I act the way I do or why I go days without replying to my friends. Some people describe me as shy or quiet but that is not what I want to be.

I want to be able to voice my opinion without worrying about what others may think of it. I want to go out with my friends and have a good time without feeling insecure about myself. I want to feel confident and think that I can conquer the world.

I have had enough of your constant controlling. I am tired of you making me feel like less of a person.

I will no longer let you control my decisions. I will no longer allow you to hold me back from opportunities placed in front of me.

I will be confident.

I will be opinionated.

I will feel fresh air.