I wish I had a dime for every time I have heard someone say "Anxiety isn't a real thing," or "Just stop worrying." Then maybe half of my problems would be solved. As much as I have wanted to give those uninformed people an earful of what I truly thought, I simply nod and ignore the harsh comments about something that controls my life- a biological factor that prevents me from doing the bold or fun choice and always playing it safe. The one thing that is constantly swarming in my head dictating my every move and thought. This is anxiety.

There are so many ways to go about explaining why I am the way that I am or what makes me do certain things, but for now I will speak for the masses when I answer the common misconceptions.

Having an anxiety disorder does not mean I'm weak

You can't tell just from the outward appearance of someone whether they have extreme anxiety or not. It's not written all over our faces, and we don't look feeble compared to others. We are not walking basket cases that look as if we have escaped an asylum. No, it's something most of us tend to hide very well with a tied together smile and put-together attitude. For me, I strive for perfection. On the outside, It is my goal to seem as if I have it all together and be the one that's holding myself up when others openly talk about how they are crashing down. On the inside, however, I am on the opposite spectrum.

Stop telling me to "Quit worrying."

It's as if these two magic words are supposed to cure everything in an instant. My brain can tell my body to lift my arms or scratch my head. It can even tell me when I'm tired or when I am sad, but the one thing it can not do is stop the racing thoughts. I am completely and irrevocably unable to make myself stop thinking of scenarios that are very unlikely to happen but cause me to tremble even at the possibility. Your piece of advice to "Calm down" won't make my heart stop racing and it won't stop the dizziness I tend to feel as if the world is spinning out of control. As much as I appreciate the help, save your breath because I guarantee you I've heard it before.

My anxiety is not the same thing as yours

I understand that you get anxious for tests or when that person you like doesn't text you back within a five minute time span. Everyone does, that's normal. What's not normal is shutting down for a couple of days and not talking to even the best of friends. It's as if I'm center stage in a play and I've forgotten all my lines as I stare blankly into the audiences' judging eyes. It's counting your money ten times before paying to make sure you don't screw up because then you'll beat yourself up for the next hour about it if you do. I'm almost positive YOU can walk down the street without thinking every time someone laughs they are making fun of you, but I sadly can't say the same. So yes, say you are anxious about your championship game or your finals next week, but please don't claim you have what we do unless the above are some of your daily struggles.

Medication does not fix it completely

As someone who was overjoyed when finally a sensible doctor noticed my severe anxiety disorder and prescribed me a medication for it, I wish I could have seen the future so I could politely decline. The medication I was on made me feel delirious and numb. I showed no emotion and my brain for once was a blank space. Sadly, this is not me and definitely not what I wanted. I wanted to keep my ability to be giggly and engage in conversation without being in a constant state of paranoia but I had to choose. Be numb for a little while until the thoughts that were stored away came racing back or go back to how I was. After a severe reaction to the medication one night, I decided to stop taking it. I am not saying all medications don't work but having asked several others who are like me, they hate taking theirs for the same reason.

Not all those who suffer are introverts

I'm in several organizations on campus and have the ability to talk to a wall, so in no way does my anxiety make me lock myself away from the world. This is because I do not have a specific case such as social anxiety. I love people and I love being involved, so no, we are not all introverts. Do I tend to over think after I speak up in a meeting? Absolutely. This doesn't mean I won't try out for this club ever again or quit though. I try and try again because that is my persistent nature. I still put myself out there even though I may go home and beat myself up when I slip up. I still love to be outgoing and enjoy life.

To sum it up, My anxiety is not an excuse as to why I tend to snap sometimes. It's not something I can prevent because it will inevitably happen and I can't ever turn it off. I've spent endless nights staying up and pondering if I gained the approval of others or days crying because I want my brain to stop overthinking. You can be anxious but that does not mean you suffer from an anxiety disorder. All I ask is that you try to understand what people like me go through every single day. It never stops, but I will tell you this. I have the most amazing support system. I have my family that will answer my paranoid calls at 2 AM. I have friends who remind me to breathe in the midst of a panic attack. I have a loving boyfriend who helps me sort out what I'm feeling. Most importantly, I have a faithful God who always seems to overpower those voices in my head that tell me I'm nothing and reminds me that I am something because I am his creation.

For those who do not suffer, I hope I could help inform. For those who do, you are not alone and your brighter days will outshine the darker ones.