I suffer from Anxiety.

By that, I do not mean getting worried over a test, not wanting to eat alone or even having a paper due. While these are all normal things to be worried about, when people say they feel anxious about them, they most likely do not have a clue what anxiety really feels like.

Medical professionals define anxiety disorders as "[having] symptoms that are similar to panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder and other types of anxiety, but they're all different conditions." Society has created this stigma that every time you feel worried about something, you suddenly have anxiety. However, this is not the case. Having anxiety is one thing escalating into a huge, unfathomable concept that causes a constant state of worry that is completely uncontrollable. I have had times where I don't even want to get out of the bed because I can't even process the idea of having to see people and worry about every little thing. The fact that having anxiety causes me to not have full control of my mind is the world's scariest feeling, and even if I want to forget all the thoughts that my anxiety is giving me, I physically can't.

Anxiety is more than being worried. It is a constant state of obsessive, hyper-awareness of everything around you. Anxiety is mentally and physically exhausting. Somedays, you have to fake that you are feeling better than you actually are because you are afraid that your bad mood will bring others down, and if you bring down their mood, then they are never going to want to see you again. Then, you are going to have no friends and be lonely. My anxiety is different from someone else that suffers from an anxiety disorder, and theirs is different from someone else. Anxiety has no general form. Everyone that suffers from an anxiety disorder has different symptoms, ways of coping and it shows up differently in life.

For the longest time, I never wanted anyone to know about my anxiety. I thought that it would make people not want to be around me. So, I became really good at hiding how I was feeling. However, I have gotten to the point in my life that I fully accept that I have an anxiety disorder, and there is nothing wrong with that. But I still have to deal with the stigma that having anxiety is just worrying, and the solution to anxiety is just to worry less. I can tell you this is not the case. If the solution to the nights where I stay up until the wee hours of the morning frantically thinking about everything I have to do over the next five years of my life was just to stop worry about it, then I guess I wouldn't be writing this article.

Now, I am not saying that if you are feeling anxious, you can't say you aren't worried about something. Simply that you need to understand the difference between worrying about something short term and actually having an anxiety disorder. Take it from someone who suffers from an anxiety disorder, an anxiety disorder is more than just worrying. It is a mental illness that comes and goes throughout someone's life, and they have no idea when and how it will affect them. An anxiety disorder is the scariest thing for someone to go through, so please don't compare your worries of whether you will pass the next week's test to anxiety. Anxiety is so much more than that.