Dear Anxiety,

You are like my shadow, everything that I appear to be except full of darkness and ruthless torture. You make my skin crawl when you come over me, I try to run for space until your long aching hands grab me and pull me back to the lonely corners of my mind where I sit. I itch. My skin feels like lava when you are around, not unlike infinite mosquito bites I can’t seem to find.

I hate you. You take me away from the things I love most. You bring me to the darkest parts of myself I’ve been trying so desperately to escape. You find what I am most insecure about that day and dangle it in front of my face like you would tease a dog with a new toy. I keep looking for the cure, but you just keep throwing it away. You make me sick. After every panic attack you force out of me, you make me heave til the contents of my stomach appear once again.

You control me. You have me wrapped around your devilish finger as if I’m a yo-yo that you can’t seem to get enough of. You throw me down and and yank me back up in a whirlwind of emotion and self-disrespect. You have this power over me and for what reason, I cannot pin down. You have always been there, but silenced like my alarm clock blaring on a Monday morning.

But you see my dear old friend, you will not be here forever. I have learned that now as I get older, you will not follow me into the best times of my life. You will stay locked in the closet as I throw away the key, and soon you will be nothing but a memory. This is me telling you that I am no longer afraid of you. You have dictated my life for quite some time now and I am tired of it. You may be stronger than me, but I am wiser. Good luck Anxiety, you’ll need it.

Sincerely,

Me.