Anxiety disorder is hard to explain to those around me who do not experience it. I am constantly trying to explain myself on why the way I think is different than others, and sometimes I may not be up to just hanging out because I feel anxious and need to be alone. So for those of you who do have it and can relate with me, here's to us. Cheers for feeling anxious and wanting to just be able to feel normal for once.
1. That moment that you feel so overwhelmed with life, school and work, and you need to just chill out.
For me, I nap (which is more preferred) or make lists of things I need to accomplish.
2. Or when something is bothering you and you can't sleep to save your life.
There are nights where I haven't slept at all. Usually the night before school starts or when I have to do something new for the first time. I will replay situations in my head to prepare myself for social contact.
3. When you are trying to be included in a conversation, but don't know what to say. So you don't say anything and when you finally think of the perfect thing to say, it's too late. EVERY TIME.
And of course, the people around you either think you are too shy to make conversation or stuck up because you didn't say anything. Socializing sucks! Especially with new people.
4. Then there are always those feelings that nobody likes me and that everybody is out to get me, or those feelings of loneliness.
5. This is probably my biggest fear. It gets my stomach turning just talking about it.. But making phone calls.
I would rather answer the phone than dial out. I never know what to say or who to talk to when it comes to calling new people or making appointments.
6. Or that overall feeling over anxiety in public when you can't breathe and become quiet.
You just want to go home and cry.
7. Lastly, just wishing you could feel normal for once and be able to get out of bed and achieve daily plans, but you just have no energy to do anything.
You feel like time is being wasted.
Last week, I had someone tell me that my anxiety was all in my head and that it's not a real thing. It really hit me that there are so many other people that probably feel the same way as me and have been through what I've gone through. Or worse. Anxiety gets in the way of life. Don't let it too much. Keep your head up and know that there are others that feel the same way. We are all in this together.
