“Get over it.” “It’s not that bad.” “Calm down.” “There’s nothing to worry about.” “It could be worse.” “It’s all in your head.”
Anyone that struggles with anxiety has heard one of the above phrases in their life. While these phrases arise from different scenarios, people with anxiety disorders will never feel better as if those words were enough. Since I’ve had anxiety for many years, I feel the need to share the frustrations and implications of anxiety (with some of my favorite scenes from "Pirates of the Caribbean" to give it some personality).
New situations are always worrisome.
The fear of the unknown is something that constantly lingers in the back of an anxious person’s mind. Most of the time we will try to convince ourselves that everything will be okay in the end. Although we might learn from the new and terrifying experience, we would rather just run away and hide.
Happy one second, anxious the next.
Once in awhile we want to take part in life’s intimidating play and look happy and excited. However, within the blink of an eye we start having anxious thoughts and act differently. Sometimes it’s for no intended reason and sometimes it might be an existential thought that couldn't be described in logical terms. It’s hard to explain; it’s just reality.
Interactions rarely go as planned.
Some of us actually plan how our interactions will occur. This can go on for hours within one day. We’ll take different perspectives to find which one looks the most promising. The scary part is experiencing something worse than what you initially anticipated. We even try to think about worst-case scenarios; it is never enough to put one’s mind at ease.
Big events are fun ideas until you’re in the moment.
I agree that I enjoy having fun going to parties and social gatherings. However, when the crowd increases and the space decreases it feels as if you’re mentally congested. It’s like you lost your sanity and everyone sees the blood in your veins pulsing, hears your heartbeat quickening and feels your body heat dramatically climaxing.
More is the goal but less is the outcome.
We want to be better and strive to be. I can say for myself that I want to pursue many things in life that are very important. A job, for example, is a necessity I know I should get but I am halted by anxiety. The result is that I become picky. I apply to jobs that I imagine myself comfortable in. I create specific scenes and situations in my mind before I’ve even had a chance to be interviewed. As a consequence, I’ve applied to fewer jobs than I should have.
“Pretend.”
As easy as it sounds, it’s not that simple. Should everyone pretend their problems don’t exist in order to get by? I don’t think so.
“It’s all in your head.”
You’re right. Every anxious thought does indeed come from our own mind. It even affects our bodies and how we live. In fact, we’d rather have someone walking with us, supporting us, asking if they can be of assistance instead of assuming that we just have the wrong mindset. Anxiety is not something you can easily change and forget forever, unless it is by God’s grace.
The challenge for all of us is to be aware that people with anxiety disorders are not necessarily stubborn Debbie-downers or party-poopers. We want to be the best by avoiding the worst while carefully taking it slow. You could say the mind is the enemy. Fear of the future, things of the past and future, the unknown are all common enemies. As we try to remember what could have been, what we could have said, anxious memories haunt us. As we try to perceive what could be, what we should say, anxious thoughts emerge. It’s inevitably an endless cycle.
In addition, I understand people have varying degrees and types of anxiety. My anxiety might not be as extreme but I’m currently attempting to cope with it. I purposely throw myself into anxious situations in order to learn from them. It’s certainly not a fun process but I believe it helps me in the long run.
Lastly, if you ever think I’m overreacting in a seemingly insignificant situation just remember it’s in your head that it’s in my head. There’s more to it than meets your eye. Just ask and be supportive.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7 NIV
