Dear John,

I found you in a weird way on social media. I was drowning in depression and I needed help. I did not mean to pick you, but I did. I wanted you save me from my miserable life. You did not asked to be my person. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for a lot things. When you are depressed you only think about your feelings alone.

You taught me that it is my responsibility to save myself. No one can make you happy. It is your responsibility to make your own self happy. It is your responsibility to take the steps you need to change your life. In my journey I learned so much about myself. I lost almost 40 pounds. I love going to gym now. I eat healthy now. I live a new healthy lifestyle.

I changed careers. I learned that I do not want to be assistant teacher. I want to inspire people to get healthy by being a personal fitness trainer. I even run now. I run marathons. I can do hard things.

I have hobbies now. I love to read, walk, and go to the beach. I have my favorite spot on the beach. Two years ago, I wanted to end my life but today I'm making goals and bucket list of places to go.

I'm sorry I called you too much. When you have panic attacks its hard to get through them sometimes. When you have depression and anxiety at the same time it can feel like hell. That is what I go through each day. I try to take things day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. Take long deep breaths. I'm my own hero. I get through the day.

I'm closing this chapter of my life as a stronger person. Thank you for journey.