A year ago, I wouldn't talk to a single person about the anxiety I was fighting. Only a few people knew about my past therapy experiences, the meltdowns, and what truly rough days were like. I was terrified to openly talk about mental illness. Maybe it was that I was in denial about how upset and anxious I really was; or, maybe it was because it was a topic nobody appeared to want to talk openly about.
Then someone came along and changed that. I can honestly say, I would not have made as much progress as I have if it wasn't for her. She encouraged me to open up about how I was feeling; she pushed me to share honestly everything that I was hiding from the therapists, my parents, other friends. She encouraged me and was my rock during my toughest time all while handling her own struggles.
Our friendship started with drunk frat basements; our only interactions being when she would jump into my arms at 1 a.m. to say hi. Now, she's my anxiety buddy -- the one person who gets how my mind works. I can text my thoughts to her at 11 p.m. and she will respond the next morning with words of encouragement. She knows Panera and cats make tough days better so she will cut class with me and go wander around PetSmart.
Everyone needs a little encouragement, now and then. Even when life seems better than it has been before, it can still seem far away from being the best, or good. So these are my encouraging words.
You are my inspiration. While dealing with a stressful term and your own personal problems, you were there for me. You pushed me to get the help I needed. Because of this, I know you can do anything and you can juggle anything that's thrown at you. You stick to what is best for you, which is a hard thing to do in this world. When a job or an activity isn't working out for you, you don't keep doing it just because. You put yourself first and quit. Because you know that your health and being happy in your life is what comes first.
Life has gotten better and it will keep getting better. You may feel like you have a long way to go, but you've come such a long amazing way so far. Keep your head held high and continue to eat chocolate croissants and Dunkin' on the rough days.
One day, we will be actual adults -- the kind who fill out taxes and, quite possibly, actually like the morning commute. We'll be genuinely happy with our jobs, our friends, our mental state. And you won't be thinking about how strange and new that is. We might be living on opposite coasts, but we'll be planning our system on how to visit each other regularly. I'll be the godmother to your dogs and you'll be wishing you hadn't promised me in college you'd be the godmother to my children.
This might all seem so far away. But I know that this "one day" will be happening very soon. Because you may become bent, but you will never be broken.
