I used to love Valentine’s Day. My mother always gave me Hershey Kisses in a heart container and a bunch of real kisses. I loved picking out the cards I’d give all my friends in school and I loved receiving cards, candy, and some sort of love from everyone in return. As I grew older the pressure of having a true valentine of the opposite gender became serious from others my age. Everyone talking about whom his or her Valentine was, even at a young age. I had many Valentine’s Days where I was single. I had Valentine’s whom I was never serious about and was more of just a fling around the time. And I’ve gone through Valentines Day in a serious relationship feeling in love. I never once felt so happy during Valentine’s Day as I did as a child waking up to my mom’s chocolates. So what happened?

I learned the truth behind Valentine’s Day. In short, it all started in Rome, a “Wolf Festival”, and a drunken festival that lasted a couple days. Goats are sacrificed, a feast happens, and women get abused and sexualized. There are also stories of Priest Valentine in Rome who illegally, he was killed for it on the 14^th and wrote a letter to his lover signed “From your Valentine”. Which I guess could be a cuter version. But still Valentine’s day is not a historically wonderful, mushy, romantic day, but instead bloodshed, drunken, religious, and sexist rituals.

I saw that Valentine’s Day was secretly a huge competition. Who had the best significant other, who had the most gifts, who got the most romantic stuff. Even when we were children and didn’t realize it some kids had more cards than others, more stickers than others, bigger lollipops than others. Then who was single and who was not or who’s boyfriend or girlfriend did the most romantic thing for them. Some people don’t even see it as a day of love but a day of gifts and expensive foods.

Which leads me to all the money behind Valentine’s Day. A part of the competition deals with how much money you have. The more money the more likely you are to win because everything becomes so much more expensive. Send flowers, chocolate covered strawberries, or a card for an arm and a leg. I honestly feel like the holiday was just made for businesses to make more money and it is all a sham. Did you know the total estimated amount of money spent by Americans in 2016 was 19.7 billion dollars? To me that’s 19.7 billion dollars that basically goes down the drain because no one appreciates the thought behind it, because it’s a holiday it’s expected.

Which brings me to my final point; you should show someone you love him or her 365 days a year not just one. If you love them let your actions and words speak out. And if you buy flowers, chocolates, a fancy dinner, or any other romantic gift or gesture, for your significant other on a random day, I promise you it will mean more or be appreciated more because they know you were thinking of them for more than just a day society created that told you, you had to do those things.

Now I’m not telling you to skip the holiday or to protest it. It’s your choice and this is just my opinion. But don’t go questioning me asking me why “I hate the day of love?” or “why do you not like the holiday, but still dress up and give out Hershey Kisses, isn’t that hypocritical?”. Maybe it is hypocritical of me, but I give out chocolates because that is my favorite memory of the day for my entire life. Because I have hope that the holiday will one day be more than just competition and money and actually about romance and love. Because I want to one day show my children true love from their mother and give them a smile on their face or a good memory of the day before society corrupts it for them like my mother did for me. I celebrate because I do want to show those I love that I care for them, just maybe not in the traditional way. So Happy Valentine’s Day from the anti-valentine, may you receive and share love everyday of the year because that’s what this world truly needs.