I know what you're thinking. You rolled your eyes when you saw this since it's yet another article about being from Maryland. How creative. I know, but hear me out. When you're like me and were born and raised in the Old Line state how could you not want to write about what it's like? For your sake and mine I'll try my best to be as non-repetitive as possible (I know and wholeheartedly agree that we have the best flag but I don't think you need to be reminded yet again) though this will certainly include some classics.
1. Your whole life is a struggle between identifying as a Northerner vs. Southerner
For some people it's easy but many, especially those of us who live in central Maryland, we face a never ending identity crisis when it comes to whether we're from the North of South (unless you're from the Eastern Shore). Technically we're a Southern state but we're just as close to the North as we are the South. NYC's only four hours away (if you don't hit traffic, which is easier said than done) and it's nearly the same distance getting to Boston as it is Charlotte. Let's just say we're in the Mid-Atlantic and call it a day.
2. You hate when Maryland is ignored on national news
Especially weather reports. You know there is a big, wonderful chunk of land between DC and Pennsylvania, right?
3. But you get excited every time Maryland is referenced in a show, movie or book.
I feel famous.
4. You knew the locations mentioned in Serial.
Shout out to Woodlawn High School and the Owings Mills Mall, RIP Hae Min Lee.
5. Though you're familiar with Bawlmerese you don't think you have an accent (until non-natives start commenting on how you say things weird).
Let's just say college has been an eye opener. Notable examples include but are certainly not limited to: going downey ocean, hon, warsh, phewn, amblance, birfday, wooter and even Merlin. I don't have an accent, you have an accent!
6. You consider yourself a good driver and think people in southern Pennsylvania can't drive.
You think these things because they're true.
7. For better or worse, lacrosse is big here.
I know from experience it's tough having zero interest in playing or watching the sport. Why couldn't jousting be more popular?
8. You think it's weird that people think identifying places and where you're from by counties is weird.
Carroll Countians, unite! MoCo, what's good! Baltimore County for the win! (special shout out to the Hereford Zone)! Anne Arundel all day! How's it going, Harford and Howard? Oh...hi PG County. Didn't see you there. And then of course there's just good ol' Baltimore City, it's own little non-county county. If we could call it Baltimore City County, we probably would.
9. The National Anthem just doesn't sound right without the triumphant O in the middle.
We mean no disrespect, we just love our O's. We love them and our variation on the Star Spangled Banner so much we tend to do this at most sporting events at all levels. Pretty sure if famous son of Maryland Francis Scott Key were around today he'd love them too and give his seal of approval on our addition.
10. We truly are America in miniature.
We've got a little bit o' everything! Mountains, beaches, cities, country, lakes and more! We also have four distinct (and often extreme) seasons.
11. This also means our weather is crazy.
It couldn't be sunny, rainy, and snowy all in one week, could it? Oh contraire, mon frere, it can and it will here.
12. It's a cardinal sin to order a crab cake anywhere but Maryland.
Unless you have an allergy, eating crabs is all but a requirement and something you start doing before you can even pick your own crab (which usually happens by the time you're in elementary school). Though there's nothing quite like picking one of these bad boys for yourself, the next best thing is a crab cake and if you know what's good for you, you won't get one outside state lines.
13. Younger generations may not harbor ill will towards the Colts but we can all agree the Steelers are the WORST.
We love our Ravens! If you're a Steelers fan in Maryland you'd best be prepare for ridicule and smack talk. Please, do us all a favor and keep your affiliation quiet and don't bring out a terrible towel. We hate the Steelers.
14. You probably weren't exactly disappointed when O'Malley's presidential campaign failed.
We'll never forget, OweMalley. Regardless of party affiliations most of us can agree he's not exactly our favorite guy (which may be putting it lightly). On the flip side, Marylanders of all political beliefs rallied behind Governor Hogan in his fight against cancer.
15. You've made some great memories in the Inner Harbor
If you don't have pictures from when you were a kid at the Baltimore Zoo, National Aquarium, Maryland Science Center, near an old ship and near a decorated crab statue, you're really missing out. And there's still so much to do!
16. If you love shopping you probably have a favorite mall
Arundel Mills Mall, HarborPlace, Mall in Columbia, Westfield Annapolis Mall...it can be hard to pick just one (though it's not hard to avoid the Owings Mills Mall these days, not to mention the pathetic Mall Formerly Known as Cranberry aka the TownMall of Westminster. I have to say it: Team Towson Town Center for life!
17. We have some of the best cheesy local commercials and jingles in the game
Seriously. Mercy Medical Center, Eastern Motors, BGE (don't even tell me this song doesn't take you back to being a kid), Len the Plumber, Michael & Son, Brick Bodies, Demetrios (I'm devastated I can't find the original with Hanna), the Rusty Scupper, MD Lottery Seats for Life, Gebco, even the Archdiocese of Baltimore. Don't lie, you're hearing most of these in your head without even clicking the links, not to mention winning catchphrases such as "If you have a phone, you have a lawyer," "Jack says YES!" and of course "Don't urinate on my leg and tell me it's raining!" You could sing these songs and recite these lines and phone numbers in your sleep.
18. There's no worse place to be during morning or evening rush hour than our highways.
The Beltway, 95, 83, 70, 795...thanks but no thanks. Let's not even talking about being on the Bay Bridge on Fridays in the summer. Our traffic is the worst, it's literally a fact.
19. Through thick and thin you have a ton of state pride.
