Recently in my classes, there have been a few people who have been making my attention span shorter then it already is, by distracting me with annoying antics. There is no reason to make focusing in school harder, yet for some reason people can't seem to grasp the concept of common courtesy. Thus, I have made a sacred list of activities that you should NOT be doing in the classroom under any circumstances. You shall follow these six commandments or face my anger (aka, my silent glares and passive-aggressive glances your direction during class...). And remember, it is never to late to reform your habits and become an unproblematic, peaceful classmate.
Putting your feet anywhere but the ground
Gravity is there for a reason: it keeps your shoes and any bacteria that they've been acquiring on the floor where they belong. Your shoes do not belong on the desk in front of you or elevated in any sense. Keep your musty looking sneakers where they belong, period.
Snacking on toxic fumes
Although this is not a comprehensive list of foods you should never crack out in the classroom due to the unbearable fumes that will be released upon your unsuspecting classmates, these are the most typical offenders: sour cream and onion flavored anything, fish in any form, most types of eggs, and other types of chips with noxious smells (although hint of lime chips, you're good).
Intensely doodling
We get it, you're an artist. That's awesome. What's not awesome is me being distracted the entire class by you creating your incredibly lifelike self-portrait with charcoal pencils and smudging sticks or whatever. Doodle within limits like everyone else so you're not distracting those around you (unless you're actually in art class, but that's a different story).
Sitting in MY seat
What are you trying to achieve here? Some ground-breaking, contemporary movement commenting on social norms in the education sphere? No. Just sit where you sat during syllabus week and don't disrespect the status quo of seating arrangements.
Acting like you're too cool for class
We get it, Chad. You're here to party and play lacrosse, not go to class. I swear I'm that cool too, but I'm also in desperate need of a GPA boost- a GPA boost means getting good grades, and getting good grades means participating in class. So if I share my opinion on Socrates, please don't judge me from afar while you check the D-3 Lax playoff brackets and Juul into your sweatshirt. It's a bad look.
Pen-Clicking
It pains me to report this one, as I am indeed an ex-pen-clicker. But I realized my mistakes and am proud to say that I have been reformed. I no longer click the pens, and have graduated to becoming a more peaceful class-goer. You should too!
Asking super abstract questions
Have you ever been in class, minding your own business, when a classmate starts pressing the professor about an abstract topic irrelevant to current discussion that is definitely not important? And the professor gets flustered because this is such an abstract, off-topic question and they are unsure how to answer? Then, the student starts pressing them harder and thinks they look genius, when in reality they are just confusing everyone else and leading the class down a very unnecessary tangent about a very irrelevant topic?
If this is you, you don't look smarter or more advanced because you confused everybody. It's simply annoying. Period.
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