A coworker of mine once said that everyone should have to work in retail or food and beverage for at least a year of his or her life. Some sort of disconnect tends to occur with some customers where they neglect to realize that staff are humans too. While servers have to deal with a hell all their own, there is a few special tortures saved for hosts and hostesses.
1. Stop asking if it's "seat yourself."
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Yes, that's precisely why we have hostesses. To do nothing, but stand here and watch you seat yourselves.
2. Stop hitting on us when you're twice our age.
Since being friendly is part of our job, we can't blatantly tell you to go away. However, if the advancements aren't obviously reciprocated, then they're still unappreciated, and to be quite frank, just plain creepy.
3. Don't be surprised when your party of 15 can't get a walk-in table on a Friday night.
Especially if you live in a city like I do, always anticipate that weekends are going to be packed. Reservations are much appreciated and, honestly, the only way to get a big table on weekends. And no, breaking into two or three parties will not get you seated any more quickly.
4. Please stop asking me about the wait every five minutes.
Trust that when we say the wait is going to be 45 minutes, it is going to be just that. Sending a family member to check in every five minutes is not going to make it go by any faster. It's just going to drive us crazy.
5. Don't yell at me over things I have no control over.
We have nothing to do with your service or your food. If you have a problem, then communicate it with your server or ask to see a manager. Don't scream at me over the fact that your medium-rare cheeseburger was a little to medium and not enough rare.
6. Stop trying to order from me.
I have no problem grabbing you a glass of water, but don't get upset when I tell you that you can't order your full meal from me.
7. Please understand that changing a reservation last minute isn't always possible.
Just one or two people is usually doable, but changing your party of three to nine people 30 minutes before your reservation just isn't going to happen.
8. Stop asking why you're on a wait list when a booth is open.
Say it with me now, "Reservations."
9. Don't ignore the "see hostess for seating sign."
Walking past us without acknowledging us is plain rude. Ignoring us won't get you the table you want. In fact, it's just going to lead to a bunch of pissed off servers and your dining experience being delayed longer than necessary. Our job is to seat you, please trust that we know how to handle that.
10. And most importantly, stop stealing our pens!
The amount of times I've gone to write down a reservation and come up empty for a pen is nauseating. And there's nothing quite as embarrassing as having to ask a customer to sign a credit card slip with a crayon. If you don't think we notice when you walk away with our pen, believe me, we do.
