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If Annalise Keating's Dating Profile Looked Like This, Would You Swipe Right?

She may know how to get away with murder, but does she know how to get away on a romantic getaway?

justin powell

Jun 30, 2020

Oklahoma State

152

Instagram/@howtogetawaywithmurder

So, you're swiping through - left, left, left, right, left... You almost get into the rhythm of swiping left, when suddenly, you see a name that you are certain you could not have misread that. Annalise Keating. THE Annalise Keating. Now, her name has had some bad raps, sure, but this profile is so... killer. How could you pass up this opportunity?

About Annalise Keating

Age: 53
Height: 5'5"
School: Middleton Law School
Job: Professor/Lawyer
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Hometown: Memphis, TN
Interested In: law, feminism, research, reading, vodka

View this post on Instagram
Don't miss the amazing @violadavis on @jimmykimmellive tonight! #HTGAWM #Kimmel
A post shared by How to Get Away with Murder (@howtogetawaywithmurder) on Sep 26, 2019 at 8:07pm PDT

Annalise's Preferences:

Dogs or cats? I don't have time for house pets.
Night owl or morning person? I have to be both. Law is a hard life, and I always have something to get done.
"The Bachelor" or "Keeping Up With The Kardashian"? I keep my eyes on the news; I don't have time for mindless trash for pathetic girls who want to start problems. Whatever it is, I'm sure I can end it.
Taylor Swift or Beyonce? Are you kidding me? Beyonce.
Baby Yoda or Baby Groot? What are these things?

Never has Annalise Keating ever not wanted a drink.

View this post on Instagram
Can't wait! 👑#HTGAWM 📷: @violadavis
A post shared by How to Get Away with Murder (@howtogetawaywithmurder) on Aug 28, 2019 at 10:00am PDT

If there was one funny story from Annalise's life that perfectly describes them as a person, it's this:

One time she accidentally became a serial killer.

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Class is almost in session 😍 Until then, binge #HTGAWM anytime, on demand and on Hulu!
A post shared by How to Get Away with Murder (@howtogetawaywithmurder) on Mar 14, 2020 at 10:00am PDT

Four qualities Annalise is looking for in a partner and one they're absolutely not:

Patience ✓
Good with kids ✓
Sexually active ✓
Alive ✓
Dead ✗

Want to respectfully slide into Annalisa's DMs?

They're open, but you have to make an appointment at her office.

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1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

Let's face it, last semester you woke up with enough time to brush your teeth and get to class and even then you were about 10 minutes late and rollin' in with some pretty unfortunate bed head. This semester we will set our alarms, wake up with time to get ready, and get to class on time!

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And so it begins.

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Camping out at the library is not for the faint of heart. You need to go in as a warrior. You usually have brought supplies (laptop, chargers, and textbooks) and sustenance (water, snacks, and blanket/sweatpants) since the battle will be for an undetermined length of time. Perhaps it is one assignment or perhaps it's four. You are motivated and prepared; you don’t doubt the assignment(s) will take time, but you know it couldn’t be that long.

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Recommended for you

If Annalise Keating's Dating Profile Looked Like This, Would You Swipe Right?

She may know how to get away with murder, but does she know how to get away on a romantic getaway?

About Annalise Keating

Annalise's Preferences:

Never has Annalise Keating ever not wanted a drink.

If there was one funny story from Annalise's life that perfectly describes them as a person, it's this:

Four qualities Annalise is looking for in a partner and one they're absolutely not:

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Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

The ultimate list and gif guide to a college student's brain during finals.

What does the world outside the library look like?

Can I read this entire book tonight?

I should have gone to class more often.

Did the professor even teach this?

What is the lowest grade I can get on this exam and still pass the class?

Should I just drop out of school now?

Finals are ruining Christmas.

Just wrote three sentences so time for a break.

Need. More. Coffee.

What is sleep?

I'm too stupid for college.

Brain hurts.

Time for a Facebook Break.

I think I'm dying.

When will I ever need this information in the real world?

I can't read any of my notes.

I need my mom.

When was the last time I showered?

I need study snacks.

The struggle is so real right now.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

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