I always start my papers by checking that I’m in Times New Roman, and have twelve point font. Especially now, it’s an odd form of normalcy I can keep. No one can control how I write, my ability to practice free speech feels stifled, I feel scared, and I feel as if I can’t and shouldn’t trust my classmates. My mom and dad call me every morning when I wake, and every night before I go to sleep. They tell me not to walk alone. Residents in my own building throw looks my way and say in audible tones,”We won, white supremacy, Trump, Trump, Trump”.

I don’t know what to say, my heart feels broken, and I feel angry at the world. My days begin with a mental checklist of to do’s, and assuredly I realize the man in that big white house is there. He is there performing at his whim whatever he deems acceptable for this country, because I’ve been reminded multiple times in the past few days that this in fact is not my country. This is not my country despite that I was born in an average midwestern town, played outside, had a first crush, took naps, saw the aftermath of 9/11, saw my dad lose his job during the recession, skied, rode a bicycle, took a second language in school, graduated high school, found my calling, and am now on my way into adulthood. My status as an American has never been truly tried before now, I sound like you, I laugh like you, and still I am not considered to be one of you. I don’t want pity or tears, I’m not trying to justify myself or become “relatable enough” for you. How can you be there as a “decent, lawful, and loving American”, and support Trump?

We can talk about Hillary all day, she wasn’t my candidate and I don’t care for establishment politics to begin with. Right now, Trump is the topic. My being an American, a woman, the child of immigrants, and a person of color should not disqualify me from being a part of this country. This is my home, a true American stands for what is right, shows an ability to show compassion, and be welcoming. Immigrants built this nation from the ground up, they were here from the beginning watching as this nation developed, and cheered as we succeeded.

Do not come to me with your words of timidness, with your fear mongering, and miss me with that ever so not subliminal, “He’s your president too”. That goes for Pribbenow too, true Americans take a stand in the face of injustice, and it’s a damn shame this country hasn’t done that. I am truly ashamed at the outcome, not surprised, so I am going to keep on being as blackity, black, black, black as I need to be in order for people to be reminded that we are part of this country, my baby hairs and I are here to stay. And yeah #FDT.