One day in high school, my friend Max Lichtenstein and I were sitting behind some bookshelves on the upper floor of our campus library. We were bored and had no intentions of finishing our work, so instead, we decided to write a story. We went back and forth, alternating every word until we had, what we thought was, a finished narrative.

I recently rediscovered this gem of literature and am pleased to present it for the first time in published form. Max Lichtenstein and I proudly present our incoherent ramblings: And They Never Lived.

It was a sacred day when the officer instructed the townsfolk to never live. What then happened was an absolute and definite mess. Everyone decided to never live. This was an absolute and definite enigma. When all the townsfolk saw the light they decided it was time to dance and boogie. So, they boogies until they decided that they were not the best people to go and live in the next world.
Bookansan was a fireman and he played the lute. However, when the enigma occurred he realized he could stop fires. And when the disaster awoke he awoke to find that all animals awoke at the same time. What occurred next was an absolute and definite mess.
The end? Not today! Four score and seven years ago our four sheep slept but never awoke. This was not an ordinary mess. It twangled and twingled like a young twingle in July. This obscene and absolute twingle never ever ever ever ever ever twangled, but the sheep never even twingled. Now back to reality. Oh there goes gravity.
The officer then forgot that he left his mother at the butcher. She scream "this knife can't cut through my very own son(sun?)"
the end

Thank you. Ill take my Pulitzer and spot on Oprah's book list now.