How do you decide between your hometown and a new town? How do you decide to stay with the boy you’ve loved for years or to focus on your career and yourself? How do you choose between yourself or others?

People talk all the time about how self care and self love are of upmost importance- yet it’s so hard to put yourself first. It’s so hard to think solely of what is best for yourself. Why is that? When it comes down to it, why can we not focus in on what weighs on our mind, on what fills our hearts and our minds?

Conflicted is an understand for me these last few months. (And last few years who am I kidding.) There are so many options for life. So many different paths you can take- HOW DO YOU CHOOSE?!

Maybe I live in this constant state of premature regret. When I weigh our options in life it drives so much anxiety having to choose one option and never even take or experience the other. How do you choose whether to graduate college, get married and start a family; or whether you should graduate, travel the world and live in new places. Better yet, how do people even decide on a major?! On a school?!

I’ve had to make all of those decisions just like any other 21 year old adult. I’ve had to make some major life decisions so far, that I am ill-prepared and under qualified to make.

The thought of missing out on one lifestyle and being stuck in only one way of life scares the shit out of me. This world is an amazingly large and gorgeously cultured place to witness and I cringe at the idea of not witnessing more than a hometown or a few surrounding states my whole life.

I guess I just don’t understand how young adults are suppose to make these bold and important decisions when we don’t truly understand the consequences of them. Maybe I just have anxiety and over think every situation, but that’s all I think about. The what if’s and the could be’s. Because without them I feel like we travel blind through this chaotically beautiful world.

And I do not want to be blind in a world that has so much to offer.