In an article title The 20 Best Basketball Movies Ever Made, author Jake Kring-Schreifels leaves out the all-important, Disney classic "High School Musical" (all three of them!). Now, hear me out, I understand that "High School Musical" does not provide the same cultural and social commentary that "The Basketball Diaries" or "White Men Can't Jump," but I do think that underlying the overall cheesy 2000s Disney original is an interesting take on what it means to be a high school athlete. Originally, this article was primarily just for laughs; I was listening to the should-have-won-a-Grammy "High School Musical" album and thought it would be interesting to see how accurate the portrayal of basketball is in the movie. So, I marathoned all three "High School Musical" movies. Here's what I found: Troy Bolton continued his career in basketball, he could have revolutionized the game. In fact, I will even go as far as to say basketball players could learn a thing or two from this iconic franchise.

First, let's examine the height of the Troy Bolton aka Zac Efron: 5'8." According to one article, Charlie Criss, who was also 5'8," is the 10^th shortest player in NBA history. According to another article, some of the shortest players in the 2018 NCAA tournament were also 5'8." What I'm saying here is that Troy Bolton was on track to make history at both the NBA and NCAA levels; would love to see the continuation of his career (@ Zac Efron).

The movie begins on New Year's Eve 2006, and Troy and his dad are in the gym playing basketball; his dad teaches him a novel move: "Go left, he'll look middle, and you'll take it downtown." Really, some Steve Kerr level coaching going on right here. I'm not going to do a whole synopsis of the movie, but singing ensues (as the title promises), and Troy discovers that he likes singing. He confronts Chad about the musical in a blasé way, but Chad proceeds to make fun of the whole idea in general, "Do you ever think Lebron James and Shaq auditioned for their school musical?" Now, Chad might be on to something here, performing in musicals could be the key to Golden State Warriors' success, and we just don't know it yet; Steve Kerr is truly just a Ms. Darbus in disguise. Then, for practice, one of the most iconic songs is performed ("Get'cha Head in the Game"). After this dazzling number, the team exits the gym; this appears to be the only practice that they did. Listen, I'm not bagging on this; Klay Thompson didn't show up to practice the day before he went for 60, so maybe it really is all a part of the strategy: less practice = more wins. What I'm really trying to get at here is that Warriors are really just High School Musical irl.

High School Musical 1 - Get'cha Head in the Game (Lyrics) 1080pHDwww.youtube.com

Fast forward to one of my personal favorite moments in High School Musical; Troy attempts to connect the musical to the game of basketball. He tells Kelsi, the composer, "Isn't the composer of the show kind of like the playmaker in basketball?" Kelsi is confused; Troy clarifies: "You know, the one that makes everyone look good. I mean, without you, there is no show. You're the playmaker, Kelsi." This is a hot take by Troy; according to a Bleacher Report article, some of the best playmakers (i.e. Draymond Green) are not considered the best players on their teams. Troy agrees with this statement; often, the playmaker is the one making everyone else looks good, but it takes keen eye, like himself, to appreciate the qualities of a playmaker.

Now comes a more serious take…Taylor McKessie, in trying to convince Gabriella to do the scholastic decathlon instead of trying out for the musical, attempts to also break her up with Troy. She says Troy is nothing but a "lunkhead basketball man." Further, she says, "Yes, our culture worshipped the aggressor throughout the ages and we end up with spoiled, overpaid, bonehead athletes who contribute little to civilization other than slam dunks and touchdowns."

I have to remind myself that this movie was made in 2005/2006, so the political climate was different, but it still calls into question the attitude people had about athletes. Today, we see athletes having powerful reaches into the political, societal, and cultural times (see Collin Kaepernick, Steve Kerr, Lebron James). I won't comment on the "overpaid" part of this, but I do think there is something to be said about the "contribute little to civilization." I did start this article initially as a joke, or something silly, but I do think there's something important to be said here; when I think about sports, or athletes that I've loved, I wouldn't say they've contributed little to my life. In fact, I would say my love of sports has contributed a lot to who I am. I know this might sound silly, but it really has! Sometimes, I pretend like I'm down 28-3 in the 4^th quarter like Tom Brady and the Patriots in Superbowl 51, or that I'm down 3 games to none like the Red Sox in the 2004 ALCS or that I'm Alex Bregman up to bat in Game 5 of the world Series. So, I would disagree with Taylor's take; sports have the capability of contributing a lot to civilization.

The 2^nd High School Musical has a disappointing lack of basketball, given that the season is over, and it's now summer, so there isn't too much to analyze here. There is an interesting baseball/dance scene that could be subject to some investigation, but I'll save that for another time.

I Don't Dance | High School Musical 2 | Disney Channelwww.youtube.com

Again, High School Musical 3 has a serious lack of actual basketball being played (the first scene of the movie shows the end of the season), it does open with an incredible shot of a sweaty troy Bolton breathing heavily, which I'm sure is how it was written out in the script.

There are 18 seconds left in the 1^st half of the game, and the wildcats are down 45-26, so it's not looking great, but if these movies have proven anything, it's that Troy Bolton is essentially the Tom Brady of high school basketball, and the scene that follows shows the team attempting to garner support for the wildcats to stage a patriots-falcons super bowl comeback. Actually, this movie came out before Superbowl 51, so I guess you could say Tom Brady actually pulled a Troy Bolton. Troy gives an Oscar-worthy speech, and Chad follows with his customary wildcats cheer. The second half starts with the Wildcats giving it their all, which goes along with my least favorite sports take of all time: "it's going to come down to whoever wants it more." Troy gets pushed by a member of the opposing team and does a Marcus Smart worthy flop. Time slows down, a light appears, and Gabriella, dressed in a white dress, appears from the crowd. They proceed to having a singing conversation about how Tory must continue playing the game. If Steph Curry and Ayesha don't do this at the next Warriors game, I'm canceling my league pass subscription. Eventually, Troy and the team run the score back up and might actually win this thing. They go into a huddle, and Troy points out that he is being triple-teamed, which I'm not sure is a smart move by the opposing team. Nevertheless, Troy becomes Lebron James and completely takes over the coaching, (my apologies to Ty Lue, Eric Spoelstra, and Luke Walton), and he asks his dad to put in the freshman kid "Rocketman." And, in what could have been a JR Smith moment from Game 1 of the finals this year, ends up winning the game by Troy throwing the game winning shot to the freshman, who banks it in.

HSM 3 - Now or Never (Lyrics Video 1080p)www.youtube.com

I love these movies, I really do, but the amount of cringey moments in these movies are unparalleled in cinematic history. One of the worst has to be when Kelsi, the composer/playmaker calls Troy "Hoopsman." Despite the visceral reaction I have to this every time I watch this movie, I would be down to watch a video of Lebron being called "Hoopsman." (One of the million people in the media personnel at the Lakers better take notes.)

Despite its cringey-ness and unrealistic basketball games, all of the "High School Musical" movies, especially the songs, will forever hold a special place in my heart. (And if they decided to do a "High School Musical 4: NBA Edition," I would like to request that Troy Bolton plays for the Houston Rockets; thank you.)

Toyota Center; home of the Houston Rockets and future NBA star Tory BoltonAlexander Londono