Dear Women of the World,

When I went home for Thanksgiving this past week, I heard words uttered from a female family member that I have heard too many times before. I gave her a compliment and she said “Oh no, I’m ugly.” Later, I took a picture with her and she noticeably cringed when she saw it and said again that she looked ugly. This girl is absolutely beautiful inside and out, and to hear her say this about herself pained me. I tried to tell her that she was beautiful and capable of anything, but she did not believe me.

This incident made me mad. I was not mad at the girl, even though I wished she could see the amazing things she is capable of. What upset me was the number of times I have heard this before. It gave me flashbacks to my middle school days, when I would hear girls my own age bashing themselves, saying that they were too fat, too thin, too short or not pretty enough. It echoed thoughts that I had of myself as a freshman in high school and words I heard the women I love most in my life say time and time again.

Because of this, I pose a question to women everywhere, and that is simply, why? Why do we say these things about ourselves? Why do we let outside forces dictate how we see ourselves? Why do we bully ourselves? I know the answer is not as simple as the question, but it is still one that needs to be sought. As women, we are capable of incredible things. Not only can we be mothers, daughters, sisters, nieces, aunts and friends, but we can also be anything we want. In the United States, we are free to go into almost any occupation we can imagine. We may face more obstacles than our male counterparts, but we are still able to accomplish anything. Why then, do we get so hung up on our own dissatisfaction with our bodies? Think of all the time we could have to create and be apart of amazing things if we were not so focused on our dislike of ourselves.

We scare ourselves into thinking that we are not good enough, and we fear what will happen if we reach for our goals and dreams. We constantly hear from the media and those who surround us, including other women, that there is something about us that could be improved. But the truth is, we will always have imperfections. No one is perfect, and sometimes the people you idolize on television or in magazines are the most insecure. I am not saying that loving who you are is easy, especially in a world where advertisements for beauty products and weight loss abound. Loving who you are is, however, a goal well worth trying to achieve.

So I issue a challenge to women everywhere, no matter who you are or where you come from. Look in the mirror, and tell yourself that you are beautiful. Whether it’s your first time saying it to yourself or the millionth, remind yourself of the attributes that make you your own person and the power you have to do great things. Think of all the dreams you wish to accomplish. Try to realize that you were not placed on this earth to body shame yourself and that there are much more productive uses of your time. Then go find a woman in your life that you look up to, or that looks up to you, and tell her she’s beautiful too.

Love, A Fellow Woman