To those who wonder why I talk about my recovery and eating disorder so often.
If you are friends with me on Facebook, you’ll soon realize that I talk about recovery, Eating Disorders and Mental Illnesses so often; but all with good reason. If you are wondering why, I’ll tell you.
I talk about my past like it’s nothing, like it didn’t change my life. But it did. In fact, my entire life was flipped upside down because of it. I talk about it because I know I am not alone. I know that in America, 15 million will be faced with depression, 8 million people suffer from an Eating Disorders and 40 million have dealt with or currently deal with anxiety. I talk about mine because these sufferers need to know that they are not alone. I spent many years thinking that I was the only one with monsters in my head. So I know for a fact that others are having the same thought, thoughts they don’t deserve to have. I talk about my mental health because I need others to know that there is hope in the darkness, that hopelessness is from the devil (NOT TODAY SATAN).
I am not ashamed of where I have been. There was a point in time when I was afraid of people knowing what I was dealing with; not anymore. I talk about my recovery because I am proud of how far I have come. It was a long journey and although it is not over yet, I know that I have come a long way and have been fortunate enough to make it where I am. So, why not share it? I am proud of who I am today. It took a lot of work and time and tears. I talk about my past like it was nothing because it was everything. It wasn’t just the moving up from one stage to another but rather the graduation from one person to a more complete one. I talk about my recovery because I need to remind myself of how far I’ve come and everything that is possible to accomplish.
From an outsider's point of view, it is hard to understand what is going through the head of someone who is struggling. I talk about my experience so that those who are blessed to not know can be educated on how to react when they come across a mental illness. It needs to be known that there are certain things you don’t say to someone who has an eating disorder, there are certain things you don’t do with someone who has anxiety. There will be things you don’t understand when it comes to depression. I talk about mine so the neurotypicals will be able to gain glimpse of what it is like living with the enemy. I would never wish this on anyone. However, I do want more understanding to be instilled within everyone, which is why I have taken the first step to normalizing these illnesses, because that is what they are: illnesses.
I talk about my eating disorder, depression, and anxiety because it has changed my way of thinking and doing. It has changed the way I view others. I talk about my experiences with the hope that it can be understand as to why I am prideful and joyful of where I am in my life. I have come a long why and I am not ashamed of any of it. My past has made me who I am and I will not hide that from anyone.
That is why I talk about my past so much, not because I am attention seeking or wanting pity, but because the only way for others to understand is by talking. I may never know what impact my story has on others, but if one person is changed for the better, I will be satisfied for my past has a purpose and I will find out what it is. Now you know why, I won’t be silenced.
Yours truly,
A girl who has a voice
