Dear, Dear Friends Who Grew Up With "Duck Duck Goose",
From the moment that I first discovered the use of the term, "Duck Duck Goose", to explain the childhood favorite pastime of "Duck Duck Gray Duck", my heart has been aching for each and every one of you.
You played a game by similar rules to our majestic version, but you missed out on the game's very best parts.You missed the creativity and use of imagination.
You missed out on describing each "duck" by its shirt color.
"Duck Duck Purple Duck, Duck Duck White Duck, Duck Duck Yellow and Pink Striped Duck..."
You missed out on the subtle insults and compliments to each of your enemies and each of your BFF's.
"Duck Duck Blue Duck, Duck Duck Green Duck, Duck Duck BORING Duck, Duck Duck Brown Duck, Duck Duck Best Duck in the World Duck..."
*No gym teacher would ever discover your stealth with this*
You missed out on trying to having the funniest, most creative names...
"Duck Duck PEPPERONI PIZZA DUCK!!"
*cue excessive laughter, snorts and all*
You missed out on giving "ducks" heart attacks of anticipation...
"Duck Duck GRRRRRR..... EEN Duck!
Betcha thought I'd say gray duck..."
*subtle evil winking face*
All in all, you missed out on a highlight of the Minnesotan childhood and tried to make up for it by calling your friends "Goose". I am sorry for your loss from the depths of my heart. I cannot imagine a childhood as lacking as yours and I believe that along with my fellow Minnesotans, it is my duty to issue you our deepest and most heartfelt apologies.
If you ever need help summoning your fun, creative, cool side, us Minnesotans are here to help.
Sincerely,
People of the Coolest State