As you sit there with your crying child, you can’t help but get discouraged. You feel like you aren’t doing anything right, and you want to sit there and cry too. I’m writing this to tell you not to be discouraged. Everyone has to start somewhere. When you drop your child off at daycare and you feel like other moms are staring at you and judging you, they probably aren’t. Don’t be so hard on yourself because more than likely, they’ve been where you are now. They remember the sleepless nights and not having a clue of what to do.

You go to the supermarket, and you see these moms with their hair fixed, makeup done, and they’re wearing denim not sweats. You think to yourself, “How in the world do they have it all together?!” More than likely, they don’t. I know you feel like you’re being judged because you’re so much younger than the rest, but don’t. We’ve all been where you’ve been. Having a child at 20 is just as hard as having one at 30, it’s never easy at first. Parenthood is scary no matter what age you are, no matter if you’re financially stable or struggling, and whether you have the help from your spouse or you don’t.

You may feel awkward because you’re so much younger than the other moms, and you may be afraid to make mom friends, but don’t be. We have to come together, and you can certainly learn a thing or two. You may think you have no clue what you’re doing at first, and you probably don’t. You may have a mom who can tell you just what to do, and if she can’t, don’t worry because you’ll learn from experience. You may want to do it on your own because you’re stubborn (like I was), but at least take her advice into consideration because she knows more than you think. It may have been awhile since her time of raising a child, but she knows a thing or two

There isn’t a book on how to be the best, but one day, in the eyes of your child you will be the best. The best thing to do is to find your groove of things and figure out how you want to raise your child. If you decide to spank your child, don’t pay any mind to those dirty looks you’ll get in JCPenney. If you decide to use cloth diapers, disregard those remarks of “I just couldn’t do that. That’s so gross.” Truth is, it’s no one else’s business how you raise your child. No mom is perfect, and if they say they are, they’re lying. Every mom has those break downs where they sit there and cry a minute because they don’t have a clue of what to do. You just get back up and fake it til you make it.

There will never be such a thing as the perfect mom, but in the eyes of your child you’ll be perfect. With age, you will come to learn what’s best for you, and you can pass it down to another young mom that doesn’t have a clue. Today, we need more helping and less judging when it comes to motherhood.