Hey single lady,
How you doin’? You know who you are. Sometimes you cringe at couples on campus kissing goodbye and other times squeal at the happiness that you see relationships bring your friends. I’m here to tell you that I’m with you and that it is perfectly OKAY to be the single friend. In the world of college, and even more so at a conservative Baptist school in Texas, it can sometimes feel like people have come to college in the hopes of finding a life partner as opposed to a lifelong career. And although there is nothing wrong with being in a relationship and having that one person you can always go to, there is also nothing wrong with doing it all on your own either. And there’s definitely nothing wrong with working on yourself until “the one” rolls around.
I guess I should rephrase that whole “on your own” part. One of the parts of college that I’ve had the most fun with is making friends with people I can’t get enough of. You don’t have to do life alone because you have a solid group of people you know you can go to with all of your joys, concerns, and random little things life throws your way. It’s hard to desperately feel the need for one person to share life with because you’ve already got a few. Another perk of using your friends as your primary source of advice and consolation is that, although you get the benefit of the emotional support a relationship gives, you also still have the freedom to do whatever you want whenever you want. Your friends likely won’t expect as much of your time or commitment as a significant other would. Also, as most know, friends tend to last longer than most boyfriends or girlfriends, so you know you’re investing your time well.
Without a man to tie you down, you have so much time for self-improvement! Honestly, who doesn’t want to do what they can to be the best version of themselves? You can make your grades a priority, maybe join a club (either for fun or to bulk up your résumé), and work on all of those skills you’ve been desperate to have time for (such as knitting and underwater basket weaving)! Being single also gives you the opportunity to sort out your thoughts without having to take other people into account. Although this might sound selfish, college is a formative time in which you work on figuring out what you want to spend the rest of your life doing. Making decisions like these are best done without the influence of others. You also have time to simply sit around and think about who you really are and what you value. Although it sounds simple, jumping from one relationship to another without leaving time to mend yourself can make it difficult to solidify your identity and realize what your desires are. Sometimes just sitting and thinking about what is best for you can help you prioritize your time and your efforts. Who knows, maybe using time to sit and think about what you want will even help in figuring out the type of person you want to engage in a relationship with in the future.
So, for the time being, don’t be bitter when you run into couples doing cute lovey-dovey things, but instead look at all of the joy that is to come. Let them have their time to enjoy their person; your time will come too. Always remember that not having one person to constantly make you feel beautiful and loved does not diminish your worth in the least. Find comfort in the fact that you have plenty of time to improve your heart and your mind for when that guy finally comes around and changes everything. Remember to enjoy the single life while you still can.
Sincerely,
A fellow single lady
