Dealing with a mental illness such as anxiety, depression or bipolar disorder is extremely difficult. Some days are worse than others, and the lowest lows seem to outweigh the highest highs a lot of the time. But there are some unspoken heroes that I would like to thank on behalf of those who suffer from mental illnesses like mine.
My anxiety has been a part of me for my entire life. I remember anxiety getting in the way of experiences starting in kindergarten. Over the past seven years, it has not only gotten significantly worse, but I've also developed depression on top of it.
A lot of the time I am called ridiculous, overreacting, or irrational. However, I have a few people in my life who truly understand and support me through it, and these people deserve all the thanks in the world.
I've tried for a very long time to keep my disorders to myself. I've worried so much about how I affect the people around me and very little about how I'm dealing with it personally. There are days when I become physically ill because of these disorders, but those don't make me feel nearly as bad as knowing that I've hurt someone I care about because of it. Recently, some people have come into my life who have taught me that this shouldn't be the case.
So to those who see the pain that I go through and consciously decide to be supportive rather than taking it personally, thank you.
To those who see that sometimes, it isn't me making these irrational decisions, but my mental illness clouding my judgment, thank you.
To those who care enough to come out and ask what they can do to help, thank you.
Thank you for being strong for me when I can't.
I know it must be hard to watch someone you care about go through what looks like self-inflicted pain from the outside, but it means the absolute world to me when I receive unconditional support even through the dark times. So to those of you who stick around and give me all the love you can give until I can figure out how to love myself again, thank you.
You have made me realize that I am a beautiful person in my own way. I love intensely, I care deeply, I appreciate every day and take nothing for granted because I know I could lose everything in an instant.
I know that sometimes, I make decisions based on feelings over logic. Sometimes I need to isolate myself from the world until I can breathe again. I have irrational fears, it's hard for me to control my emotions. However, I'm done feeling sorry for that and I have you to thank for that.
There must be days when it is just as hard for you as it is for me to deal with this, but you've stuck around. Your love, support, and dedication are what get me through this and I will never be able to fully express my gratitude.
Mental illness affects more than just the person directly suffering from it, and as second-hand victims, you deserve way more credit than you receive. Just know that even if I don't express my gratitude as much as I should, you make each day a bit more bearable. It goes a lot further than you will ever realize.