Dear season of waiting,

I struggle with you.

Every day I wake up and you’re staring me right in the face.

The reality of you makes me cringe every day that I’m forced to live with you.

And if you haven’t caught on yet, you suck.

But you know what?

I’m thankful for you.

Even when I don’t know why you’re here or what you’re doing with my life, I praise God for the challenge you are.

I’ve never been so chained by anything in my life, you season of waiting.

You take hold of all of your captives and force them to dwell on you.

I try not to dwell on you, but everywhere I go in life, it seems as if people have become free from you, but here I am, stuck.

It’s like we have a love-hate relationship.

As soon as I get past you, you seem to have a new way to chain me.

Why do you do this?

I know that one day I will learn from this but in the moment, you make me feel worthless and insignificant.

I feel like I can’t move. Like I’m stuck in time.

No matter how hard I try to build a better future for myself, the tighter you seem to bind me.

I’m in a sphere of time where everything and everyone around me is changing, yet I stay here in the same season for months and months at a time.

It seems like the weather changes to warm but all you are, season, is cold.

You are supposed to benefit me, but all you do is hurt me.

It’s difficult to remember, sometimes, that you will use this for good, it’s difficult to remember that I am not alone in dealing with your kind.

Running, running.

I try to run for you, but no matter where I go, you’re always one step behind me.

It’s a long, hard process to get rid of you.

Where do you want me? What good are you doing me right now? Why are you so persistent in pursing me?

I just want to be free, but your Master has different plans.

We serve the same Master, but no matter how merciful He is, you seem to be so deceitful.

Every time I think I am almost free from you, it is only trickery.

I know I should embrace you more than I do, because if I’m honest, there will never be another you.

You are unique and are a missing puzzle piece to my story, without you and your constant hurdles, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

I am the only one who gets to experience your specific trials, there’s nothing like you.

You’re almost as necessary as my coffee in the morning.

No matter how hard I try to escape you, I can’t.

There is no way of escaping the reality that you are.

It’s like your name is written across my forehead in bright red letters, a constant reminder that you are always there.

Although, the lettering is only visible to me unless I allow it to be shared with others.

So here I am now, writing about the reality that you are, hoping to find someone who gets the feeling that you give me.

You are no longer going to chain me because my God is greater than what you are in my eyes.

To me, you are the Great Wall of China, but to my God you are only a hurdle.

My God does not know time, only I am aware of the exhausting hours you put me through.

He is the Author of time and he is the creator of you.

And even though you are an incredible set-back, I know in my heart that you are protecting me from something else that is out of my control, so thank you.

And if I could change you, I know that it would be the same as a self-destruct button, because you know the plans He has for me better than I.

You know what’s best for me because you are what’s best for me.

I do not want to believe that, but I am learning that it is necessary.

Thank you for teaching me who I am and for developing my character.

Thank you for being a part of my story, because you make it mine.

So until you stare me in the face again, farewell,

The character in your narrative