I truly loved you.
I loved you so much that it took me months to finally accept the fact that you just never appreciated me or anything that I ever did for you. My first mistake was choosing to let you into my life because I thought I could trust you. I thought I could trust the future plans you made for us, your promises and I even thought I could trust you when you told me you loved me. Maybe you really did, but you made it extremely hard for me to believe that even though deep down I wanted to. I wanted to believe that you had as much love for me in your heart as I had for you, but I quickly learned that you didn't.
I admired you. I admired your flaws, your habits, and your dreams. I looked up to you, I respected you and, unlike you to me, I appreciated you immensely. Unfortunately that still wasn't enough for you because you broke me down to the last piece of coverage that I had. You took me for granted, you used me and you never realized how much I was actually there for you when you needed me. I was becoming invisible to you.
When I first met you, you treated me with respect and love, but something changed in you. You stopped cherishing the time I spent with you, the effort I put into you and the way that I made you feel. You began to resent me. I had a wall up when I met you and I thought that if I fell for you gradually instead of all at once that my heart wouldn't be broken as easily. That was far from the truth because I fell for the little things. Your strange laugh, your stupid jokes and the different looks that you had for every situation. I think that's why it hurt a million times worse when I knew you weren't appreciative of me because I gave you every little ounce of love and encouragement that I had in me and it all went unnoticed.
I thought that your love and appreciation was the best kind, but it turns out that the best love and appreciation could only come from myself. Instead of crying myself to sleep or sitting around waiting on a text or a call from you that I knew would never come, I chose myself every day because I had lost sight of the person that I was and the things that made me happy. I really do hope that you find someone one day that you appreciate and love and cherish. Someone whose laugh lights up your whole world and their little quirks make you happy. I found who I thought was my person, but the person that I found wasn't ready for me or what I had to offer and that's OK. I thought I lost the battle with you, but I found out that you were the loser. I gained happiness within myself, and you lost the one person who genuinely cared for you.
