Dear friend,
I know you may think that I hover or that I'm too overprotective, but it is in my nature. It is in my nature to care about you and worry about you, even when you think you know best. I mean, you don't call me the "mom of the group" for nothing, right? I am sorry that you may feel like I don't trust you or like I think I know what's best, but I know I do not always know what is best for you. Only you know what's best for you.
You see, it comes from fear. It comes from fear that you will experience some of the terrible things I have experienced, and I am only trying to protect you. The anxiety creeps over me like the sheet my mom used to pull over me when she tucked me in at night. It is the feeling of helplessness because I couldn't save myself, so now I feel like I need to save you.
But I cannot let that fear stop you from learning for yourself some of life's important lessons. It's like when you get your ears pierced for the first time or you try something new that one of your friends has already tried and you try to gauge whether or not it's worth doing so you try to absorb the experience. But it is not until you actually are sitting in that chair with newly pierced ears that you truly understand the feeling. I know it sounds like tough love, but you have to fall down a few times before you can learn to walk.
I will still worry and I will still feel the urge to keep an eye on you, but it is only because I love you. I know that it is time for us to walk on our own two feet, so I am going to let go of your hand. But just because I let go, doesn't mean I'm not close enough to catch you if you fall. Please remember that not everyone has your best interests in mind. Remember to trust your feeling; your gut. And please remember that even if you do mess up, I'll be here to help you pick up the pieces. I mean, we're only human after all.
I am stepping back. I am letting you run free and rollick in the fields of exploration, but that doesn't mean it's easy. Please don't shut me out because you assume I am feeling some type of way. You can't read my mind (or at least I hope you can't). If you're mad, talk to me. If you're sad, talk to me. If you need a minute, I'll give you your space. But you don't have to go through it alone.
I know now that I can't save everyone. You can only hope you've given them the tools to emerge from situations in one piece. So I am going to take this time to save myself. Though my "help everyone" gene is strong, I am stronger. And I know you're strong, too.